Aloe Water - 4 Reviews

My girlfriend bought this bread from a local, organic bakery. They are known for their hand crafted, unique, flavorful breads. She bought a loaf of apple cider bread. All day I wanted that bread but we had a million things to do. Next day? Half of the day was filled with stuff to do and finally, in the late evening, we had our chance. I got a knife out and cut a nice slice of bread for each of us and sat down to watch "Jon Benjamin Has A Van" because it's wonderfully hilarious. Do you want to know what wasn't hilarious? How simply awful this bread was. Aside from it having no flavor, the sheer "whole wheat" of it all left a sandy, unwanted aftertaste.

Thinking that we, perhaps, got a dull slice, I brought it to work where I cut another piece for myself. Just as bad. Thank God I had this drink to wash it down. It's very sweet and today I needed it because I couldn't deal with the feeling of someone chewing flavorless, whole wheat bread and spitting it into my mouth like some sort of baby bird. Good sized chunks and totally natural ingredients are the key to a good aloe. I actually like this better than some of the flavored aloe that I have had from these guys.

So there is still half a loaf of bread and it's on the fast track to staying half a loaf of bread with mold on it really soon. Don't mess with Texas and don't mess with bread.

It's a well-known fact that all of us at Thirsty Dudes love aloe drinks. Personally, whenever I get a new aloe drink to review it usually gets bumped to the front of the queue. Is that wrong of me? Honestly, with all the soda and energy drinks I consume, it's nice to get a refreshing drink from time to time. Do you blame me?

As you can guess by the name, Aloe Water, this is a “thinner” aloe drink. It basically tastes like cherry flavored vitamin water with little aloe chunks in it. I usually prefer more chunks in an aloe drink, but it makes sense they might want to keep the chunk count down on this line. It's kind of weird to drink because I want to take big gulps due to the water-like consistency. After the first swallow my body gets scared because of the little aloe chunks rushing down my throat. I know it's next to impossible to choke on an aloe chunk, but my body doesn't know that. So I end up sipping it slower than I'd like to.

This would probably be good for someone who wants to try an aloe drink but doesn't want too many chunks. It's a beginner level aloe drink if you will. Just because I'm in the expert levels now, doesn't mean I can't enjoy this though.

It's a rough place to be, out on the hard streets of Aloeville. People were getting hooked on the heavy stuff left and right. Personally I've seen more than a handful of friends fall victim of its sweet siren song. It seemed that everyone was out to get the sweetest stuff they could find, and the bigger the chunks the better. More and more dealers were popping up everywhere. It was getting to a point where you couldn't be on a street corner without someone trying to push it on you.

That's when Aloe Water came onto the scene. They came up with this crazy idea that this city needed to be shaken awake. They thought the aloe world had become too complacent, and it was time for a change. They started producing a light aloe drink that wouldn't kill you so fast, to help clean up the dirty streets of this run down town. They went for the smallest chunks they could find. We're talking orange juice pulp small here. They also wanted more of a hint of flavor, rather than the way companies of old would bash it over your head. Sometimes they put a nice light pineapple. It wasn't harsh at all, just like they soaked chunks of pineapple in their aloe juice and then strained it out.

Before long things started to look brighter. Diabetes counts went down. People seemed happier. A new era began.

I often wonder what one would want to "detoxify" themselves of. Obviously if you smoked a pound, or kilogram to our metric brethren, of week, you might want to get that out of your system. It's the same with any sort of drug. Aside from that, you can't really "detoxify" yourself of a giant hamburger that you shouldn't have eaten but the menu said that it had chipotle in it and that is your weakness. Water, I feel, would probably be the best detox drink because it doesn't leave anything behind. No sugar. No carbs. I think I've heard that cranberry juice is a good cleanser, but once again, what are you doing that you need to be cleansed?

I kind of expected this to be lighter than a typical aloe drink, you know, because it's called "Aloe Water". I thought that it might be in the beginning, but after you take a couple sips, you're right there with the rest of them. One thing that I did notice is that the "chunk count" is less in this than in many of the other aloe drinks I've had. That's never good. If I'm buying a drink, knowingly with chunks in it, I never want to chance that I will take a sip and not have anything to chew on. Taste? It tastes good. It's fruity but you still get a pretty good aloe taste to it. Think of a very light fruit punch mixed with an "original" flavored aloe. There is honey in the ingredients but I can't really pinpoint it in the drink itself.

If I ran this company, which also makes Coco Water, I would drop the tagline of "Natural Detox Drink" because it makes me feel dirty every time I read it. I would say something like "100% All Natural" or "All Natural Aloe" or "Naturally Sweetened". Why make something out of nothing. I have drunk my share of aloe drinks and I've never heard it be considered detoxifying.

Also, don't smoke a pound of weed. Go outside and play.