Black Jack - 3 Reviews

On a pirate ship, everyone knows that you do two things; sing shanty songs and drink iced tea. There are other things that you do, like put knives in the sails and slide down. Pirates call that "the elevator" and it's what kept canvasmen in business those days. Without pirates, we wouldn't have such a large canvas market now. Thanks, pirates. With all the tomfoolery, they were very prone to things like missing hands, legs, and eyes, hence the hooks, pegs, and patches. They didn't have the best of ingredients those days, you know, because they were on a boat, so they had fruit, corn, and water. Yes, they distilled the water. They're pirates, not savages.

Jay found this official pirate iced tea buried in the sand in a bunker at a local golf course. Hey, sand is sand. Pirates can play golf. Poorly, but they can play. They work on their drives off the side of the boats and have for centuries. I dusted it off, opened it up, took a sip, and remember why I hated the "Pirated of the Caribbean" series. This has a strange throat bite thing that you get with low quality, corn syrup drinks. The more you drink it, the more you can drink through it, and the flavor isn't bad. It's like a not-as-great Sweet Leaf raspberry.

Pirated are alright. Modern pirates give historical pirates a bad name. More singing, less holding up rich people on boats, modern pirates.

When I told Mike and Jay I found this can for 60 cents at Big Lots, they wished me lucked. Unbeknownst to me, Jay had previously reviewed a mango drink from the same company and it wasn't anything to write home about. I was hoping since this was an iced tea it might be better, but nope, not at all. This is pretty generic tasting lemon iced tea. There is nothing special about this except for the can. For cheap iced tea, I'll be sticking with Arizona tall boys.

I had to buy this. It just looked too ridiculous. I knew it wasn't going to be very good, but the 88-cent price printed on the can made me feel okay about it. Just as I expected it's not very good. Super think and syrupy. It doesn't taste like mango. It tastes medicinal. If you're looking for a cheap HFCS tea, stick with Arizona.