Chaparritas - 4 Reviews

Well now I want to go to a hotel because I never drink grape juice. Why would I? I'm not eight. It's never been bad but you just grow out of it. Now, in my thirties, I'm sitting at my computer drinking a grape juice and I want to be in a hotel. Why do I want to be in a hotel? Well because they serve grape juice like this and I would get it there. I would get it to accompany my continental breakfast of eggs, bacon, cereal, tiny doughnuts, muffin, sausage, bagel and everything else under the sun. When you're in a hotel, you eat like a king. A king that eats like a king and a king that drinks like a tiny prince that would drink grape juice.

Is it good? Yeah, it's fine. It's dark grape juice. It's not too sweet and not terrible for you considering it's probably mostly fruit juice and sugar but it's natural sugar and doesn't have any strange bite.

Be a king. Be a prince. Be a queen. Be a princess. I don't care. Drink grape juice and feel young again. Or go to a hotel and gorge yourself on awkwardly small food that makes you feel awful on your way out of Cleveland. You just had to visit the USS COD Memorial, didn't you. Those troops fought so you could eat all that food.

Ultimately this is tangerine flavored sugar water. Yes, I know that most beverages these days could be simplified down to sugar water, but this is really just water, sugar, natural and artificial tangerine flavor, and a whole mess of unnecessary stuff. It really tastes like it's the base for a soda that they forgot to add bubbles to. I'm sure there is a place and a market for this, but I'm not sure what it is; probably kids with no discerning taste.

One thing I have learned about people from Mexico based on the beverages I have sampled from there is that they really like things to be sweet; far too sweet for my current tastes. I guess the same could be said for a lot of the beverages that come out of the US though.

I have this labeled as a juice, but the truth of the matter is that I don't know if there is even a single drop of fruit juice in this bottle. It is water, sugar, a bunch of things that have no business being in foodstuffs, and natural and artificial pineapple flavor. I'm so used to having “orange drink” around here that I never considered that other countries might have different flavors of sugar water that they pass off as juice.

This just tastes like someone let a pineapple soda go flat and then poured a tiny bit of water into it. There is no harshness to the flavor like many pineapple drinks have. I can't tell if it actually tastes like pineapple or if the flavor I'm experiencing is just what companies pass off as pineapple. Either way, I have no need for this in my life, and I'm pretty sure not many people do. If it's a cultural thing I understand. If not I just don't get it.

Apple juice: One of the hardest things to review. Why? It really tastes so similar it's like splitting hairs. It's the same with orange juice. It's hard. Also, before you ask, the answer is "Yes." Yes, we know the difference between "hard work" and "hard to review juice." We're aware of our place in this world, alright?

This is apple juice. The difference is that this has sugar in it. Most apple juices are straight apple juice. I do not know why Chaparritas decided to add sugar and honestly, it doesn't change the taste at all. If they would have used a different sweetener like corn syrup it probably would have made it strange and thick but since they used natural, cane sugar, it probably closely mimics that of the sugar that comes from apples.

Sugar? No sugar? At the end of the day you've got a nice, petite glass of apple juice.