Cultivo - 3 Reviews

I was worried about this. I split it with a dude at work and warned him that this would be strong and wildly caffeinated. I was wrong. It's got me a little jittery, which is fine, but some of the other cold brew I have drank got me lit up. It also is not hard to drink. I have said many a time that I drink coffee like a child would, with chocolate syrup in it but for this review, I went straight. It was not bad at all. I spent an hour and a half in my car due to snow so it wasn't as cold as it could have been but not docking that, it was good. I would say that this being just a medium coffee with average caffeine makes it something I could easily and have easily made at home.

All that being said, a little carton of black cold brew is a nice thing to just be able to pick up and go.

Yep. Here's another great one. When I drink coffee, it's cold and has chocolate in it. This checks all those boxes. It's pretty smooth because it's got half and half in there, too. I typically wouldn't put cream in my coffee but let me tell you this, if someone served this to me as-is while I was lying scantily clad on the lido deck of a cruise ship, I would say, thank you, and tip him an appropriate amount of money. I'm no monster. A tip is not a tip unless it meets the criteria of "enough." Having never worked in a tip-reliant industry unless you count playing in a band that is willing to but doesn't receive tips, I don't know what it's like to get a bad, good or great tip.

Here's a tip (segue) buy yourself some of this. It's smooth and still has a great coffee flavor even with the cream and chocolate. Be a little childish. You like coffee like you like your men? I don't know how to get out of this. I'm in a corner now. I'll stay here for a while. At least I have this coff...and it's gone.

I've spent 38 years of my life thinking that I didn't really like coffee. I didn't hate it and I would drink it from time to time when I needed some caffeine. Hell, my high school years were spent sitting in diners for hours just downing overly sweetened and creamed endless cups of it, just because that was what my friends did back then. I had to add so much to it to make it so I could continue to drink it. It's a miracle that I'm not insanely over weight. In the past couple of years I've realized that coffee isn't all that bad if you're drinking the right stuff. There are some great blends/roasts out there that can be downright tasty, but mostly I'm talking about cold brew. There is something special about cold brew that cuts the acidity and just makes it such a smooth drink. Also, coffee is so much better cold that hot to my taste buds.

While the carton here describes the true meaning of the name Cultivo, I will pretend that it is referring to the cult of coffee drinkers. You know the people out there who absolutely need their coffee to function, and for some I'm not even sure it's due to the caffeine. People love coffee, and I think this product is here to indoctrinate new people into the cult by giving them smooth, delicious coffee to ease them in. This is exactly what the beverage is. It's high quality coffee that is nice and creamy from the half & half (I can even forgive the use of real milk here, which normally disgusts me). It's mildly sweet from the 9g of sugar in it, but they took care not to overdo it so that it is still mostly coffee and not a sugar drink.
It's no shock here that this is a brand of Uncommon Coffee Roasters aka the best coffee I have ever drunk. They are a high quality company with ethics I can get behind. If only all companies had similar beliefs and practices while making such high quality products the world would be a much better (caffeinated) place.