Cuties - 2 Reviews

Oh how adorable a little bottle of smoothie. It has the cutest little face on it and an ever so appropriate name "Cuties." This may have been your first thought process if you are either under the age of 10 or over the age of 45 and lived alone except for your 14 cats. Truth be told you wouldn't be thinking this is so cute if you knew it's dark history. Remember those monks from the 90's that recorded their chants and sold them in mass quantities to the yuppie crowd? Have you ever wondered why we don't hear from them anymore? I mean obviously it's not because that was a stupid novelty of an idea. It must be something more sinister. The last ingredient in this bottle is "Monk Fruit Concentrate." That's too much of a coincidence for me. After doing some digging I uncovered the ghastly truth that Cuties has been harvesting the "singing monks" mind grapes to add a little kick to their smoothies.

They start off with a nice thick smoothie that tastes very strongly of tangerines and mangoes with just the slightest hint of banana. From the taste you can definitely tell it's a protein drink, but it's not as chalky as you would expect. It is the monk's mind grapes that give it that quality. Tell me you still think this is cute now that you know that it contains monk brains! You do? Well then you my friend are quite the sicko!

I enjoy drinking things shaped like a baseball. It's completely awkward and it makes me want to market something that is fun to drink because it's shaped like a pirate ship or light pole or spoiler off a Honda Civic. People would love it because it's delicious but I would make it so it doesn't really fit on any shelf and doesn't stay where you put it because there isn't a adequate flat surface.

This was an impulse buy that was made because of the flavor and the shape and the price and the fact that the name of the company was Cuties.

I expected a bit more smoothie and less coconut puree, if I may be honest. The flavor was good to start; tangerine fighting strawberries and then who breaks up the fight? Fat old coconut. It not bad, I just thought it would be thicker, perhaps with seeds or something. There is a bit of "stuff" in there, so it is technically a smoothie, I just would have liked more, you know.

There are other flavors and we will eventually get to them, but for now, I know what to expect, and it's thick, coconut Juice in the shape of America's favorite past time.