Dr. Brandt - 1 Review

Hey moneybags! Yeah you. I see you there with your off-red J. Crew shorts with alligators on them, dock shoes nowhere near a body of water, Wayfarer sunglasses, and polo shirt. Come on, you're a dead giveaway looking like this. You are your own personal Harajuku you doofus. Come here, I've got something for you. Look, you've got the cash. I know you do. Oh, you don't? Nice Rolex Submariner. I'm sorry, were you saying something? I didn't think so. As I said, I've got something for you. You look like you're in decent shape and judging by your attire, and yes, I am judging a book by its cover, you row crew. That's cool. You've got deceivingly calloused hands even though you've probably never worked a day in your life. What are you even studying here at this college? Oh, general studies? Awesome. Enjoy your inherited millions. I'm sorry. I've got a 400 level economics test at three that I'm a bit stressed about.

What was I talking about? Oh, right, your money. I've got this for you. It's quite expensive but the likes of regular people like me can't afford it and I could use a little bit of cash, so if you could buy it from me...what is it? It's an antioxidant booster that you put in your water. One dropper for every cup of water but I've put it in tea, too. It's pomegranate flavored, unsweetened, and pretty great. It's got that really bitter pomegranate flavor mixed with the contrasting sweetness everyone loves about pomegranates. Ying and yang, that fruit. You drop it the water, stir it up, and drink it up. I like it but could use some cash for food and stupidly bought two of these and saw you sticking out like a sore thumb and thought that you might enjoy clean skin and lustrous hair. You do? Of course you do. I'll sell it to you for $30, which is like $10 less than I paid for it but I could easily get a Crave Case and feed my three roommates and myself for a couple days. You don't know what a Crave Case is? Man, what's it like to have all that money?