Excel - 5 Reviews

"I wish they would bottle the flavor of vanilla cupcakes so I could drink it all day." Yeah? I dare you to drink this for a whole day, dude. Two sips and I'm tapping out. It smells like a sixth grade girl, also. You remember when they all wore that temporarily good smelling cotton candy perfume? I liked it but for a limited time. This...I could be surrounded by six girls talking about Taylor Swift, Shopkins, One Direction, lip gloss, Gary from third period and Snapchat at the same time and take that longer than I could deal with the immense flavor of this.

Smell? Spot on. It's a cupcake. Taste? Sugar flavored sugar. It's so sweet and completely distracts from the flavor. The kid that you remember that used to sneak and eat sugar cubes from the coffee table wouldn't be able to drink this. This is turning into quite a "dare drink." Have at it, friends. Don't send me the doctor's bill, though.

Look at that little lemon guy on the label. There's something I just don't trust about that fella. He's hiding something behind that smile and sunglasses. I mean he's under an umbrella and I think he's slyly trying to tell us he's a shady guy. You know what I was right. He was hiding something and that secret is that this is carbonated. Nowhere on the label, except in the ingredients list, does it give any indication that what you're about to imbibe is a sparkling lemonade. I expected this to be a dull “classic” lemonade with far too many added ingredients. The fact is if the bubbles weren't present this would be a fairly piss poor lemonade. The bubbles transform it into an interesting lemon soda. Make no mistake it tastes like soda and not just sparkling lemonade, but it is still pleasant. It's sweet (they use cane sugar, which is always a shocker in plastic bottles) and it has a lemon flavor that tastes quasi accurate. This could have gone horribly wrong put the pieces fell into place well enough. That little guy is a trickster, but at least his trick led to a more enjoyable beverage.

Little known fact, but in Brewster's Millions there is a cut scene where Richard Pryer realizes that he still has one dollar left after the party. With seconds to spare he runs to the store and purchases a bottle of grape soda. An argument then ensues about whether the deposit counts as spending since he can get it back afterwards. Mr. Pryer then throws a right hook and yells "Deposit this!" The movie then cuts to the ending that everyone knows.

This is the grape soda he bought. The packaging was changed after the movie came out to celebrate it. Since the movie is now ancient, and most people who now drink soda have never even heard about it, drinkers are left scratching their heads about the name.

The soda may be good, but certainly not a million dollars worth of good. It's sweet and candy-like as most grape sodas are. The difference is the cane sugar doesn't leave such a sickly sweet aftertaste. I swear I can taste a hint of real grape that you don't get with most grape sodas. Now that I think about it, it was really good, maybe $5000 worth of good.

I've been on tour with Night Birds for a while now playing the roll of merch pusher. There are low times at the old merch table where boredom sets in. That is when I sit back and enjoy a nice frosty beverage. That is until some mutant shows up, having no interest in anything we're selling. They recognize that I am in a position where I have to stay at the table, making me an open ear to listen to any sort of insanity they choose to spout out of their food hole. Sometimes it's entertaining, but most of the time they are annoying and occasionally they truly creep me out. Today while an individual attacked me with his insights on The Beatles and the superiority of Domino's pizza, I told him I had to end the conversation in order to attend a date with a bottle of fruity soda. He looked at me dumbfounded as I turned around and popped the cap off this bottle of neon sugar water.

The pop was better than the conversation, but not much more interesting. I taste neither kiwi nor strawberries. It's a fruity sugar mixture. It's tasty but I can't place an exact flavor.

I've been drinking this soda and writing the review and crazy dude is still standing here waiting for me to finish. Now he wants me to touch his finger. Glorious.

As I type this I am watching the Phil Spector documentary. As each minute passes he seems to become more and more insane. I also believe one of his parents may have been a fish, due to his facial features. He really doesn't even look human anymore.

None of that has anything to do with this soda, but wow is that dude crazy. This pop not so crazy, but it's really good. It's not often that you come across a cane sugar sweetened cream soda, especially a red one. When something like that comes along you hold on to it. You sip it slow and savor the sweet cream flavor. This has a great balance between sweet and vanilla. They apparently listened to Dave Gahan and "got the balance right."

If you're ever in southern Illinois you should search this out. A high quality local soda is something I can get behind.