Fizz Ed. - 2 Reviews

Welcome to the first day of Fizz Ed. My name is Christopher Fabiano and I will be your instructor for the semester. I see a bunch of you have changed into gym shorts and tee shirts with sports logos on them. Those of you that have, like so many before you, are mistaken as to what class you have enrolled in. I understand your confusion due to the fact that we meet in the school's gymnasium and I admit the name can be confusing, especially to the youth of today who's grammar and spelling has gone right down the pooper due to computers and texting. This class is not I repeat IS NOT physical education. It is in fact Fizz Education, or the study of carbonation and more importantly soda and other fizzy beverages. Yes this class is a dream come true for some, but for those of you who are upset about this, there are withdrawal slips by the door. No one's feelings will be hurt if you walk out that door.

Okay now that everyone but six of you have left let's get down to business. Basically this semester we will learn the science behind soda and by the end of the semester you will be brewing your own. All you stoner slackers out there, I know you're thinking that you can use this knowledge to brew your own beer. Well, I hate to break it to you, but that is a different process altogether and while it is interesting the school board won't let me teach it. I mean come on it's a shock that this class exists at all.

Before we start can anyone tell me the difference between soda pop and sparkling juice? No one? Well this is certainly going to be a long semester. Okay the difference really boils down to the amount of sugar added to the drink. I'm glad so many people left because I only have a handful of cans to share with everyone. So take one and pass the bag to the person next to you. What you now hold in your hands is a near perfect example of a sparkling juice. It is also a brand I created to help me in teaching this class. Like the name? Ideally I would have used fresh fruit juice, but with budget cuts what they are I had to settle with using concentrates. I then added carbonated water, and bam magic was made. Notice I did not add any sweeteners. The fruit juice is nice and sweet as it is and it makes for a wonderfully refreshing drink. For this batch I used red raspberries and I think you can really taste it. Of course due to those aforementioned budget cuts I couldn't use pure raspberry juice, so I cut it with apple juice. You can slightly taste the apples, but it still is mostly raspberry. It truly is a wonderful thing if I do say so myself.

For the next time we meet I want you each to write a 25-page paper describing the evolution of soda and how it differs from sparkling juices. What did you think this was going to be a blow off class? Think again!

Fizz Ed, the oddly punctuated and spaced, past tense of the verb "fizz" or "to fizz" is the title of this drink. "Dude, I was so fizzed last night after I drank all that pop." for example.

I have known many people to have gotten "fizzed" at parties. I'm pretty sure Derek drank like eighty ounces of pop one night. That, to me, makes we want to research a respectful and affordable dentist, and get my teeth checked out as I haven't had a dentist for about five years, and before that, it was my pediatric dentist. I'm pathetic, I know, but hey, he's got all my records and knows my teeth. I am quite sure that he would jump out the window of his dental practice, which wouldn't do much as it's on the ground floor, if he found out that I did this website and drank so much junk all of the days.

This would be a great drink if you were sick because it's fruity and doesn't taste too different from cough syrup. It's doesn't have a bad taste, but it does have a bit of a syrupy, thick texture to it. Drinks shouldn't have a texture unless it's blatant, like a chia seed drink, or an aloe, or anything with Nata De Coco, or something along those lines.

I wonder what my dentist is up to and if I am still the oldest person that goes there. I know it's wrong that a twenty nine year old man-boy is going to a child's dentist. Sure, I don't care as much about the balloon animals and don't care at all about the stickers and my mouth has grown beyond the kid's toothbrushes, too. I know it's got to be better than adult dentists, though. At least I can learn about cool things like pistachio trees in Highlights magazine in my dentist and I don't have to read magazines like "Time" or "People".