H2PRO - 4 Reviews

Do I love my guts? I think so. I eat yogurt. That's the epitome of loving and taking care of your guts? I feel like living in Buffalo I do my fair share of loving my guts by eating rotten cheese in the form of bleu cheese. Is that enough? Yogurt and bleu cheese? It's not? I've got to do more?! What kind of time do you think I have? Oh, a packet of stuff I can mix into a bottle of water? Great.

Wait...you said this was flavorless. It tastes the way melting plastic smells. That is quite flavorful, actually. I filled up a sixteen ounce bottle and took three giant chugs to finish it. Now my mouth is cold. It tasted like it was numb when I tasted it. Now it's just strange like I just swished with Stevia. Why would I do that? Swishing with sugar or a sugar-like substitute? Do I hate my teeth? No. I take good care of those puppies like I do, or thought I did, of my guts.

I might be getting stronger or at least more resistant to the outside forces with each sip of this and there are nutritional values like a ton of vitamin C and D but is it worth it? Probably. All that bleu cheese might be clogging my blood vessels and pores.

Apparently flavorless is code for this tastes the way a dentist office smells; sterile and chalky. It's all calcium citrate malate, malta dextrin, dimagnesium malate, silica and cholecalsiferal and no fun. At least it serves the purpose of helping with bone and joint health.

This could not have shown up in my life at a better time. I've had tennis elbow for going on two months now, and somehow in the past two weeks I have messed up both my knees. I don't know what I'm doing to myself, but I'm falling apart. Now I have H2Pro to help me through it. I don't know if my elbow is finally healing, and my knee brace is working, but after a couple of days of drinking this I see to be doing a bit better. In other good news this actually tastes pretty good. It's a powder mix, but it has a strong lemon flavor and that same lemon helps fight off the stevia flavor, while still letting it sweeten it up a bit. I actually enjoy sipping this and I'm not chugging the whole thing just to get it over with. It's simple and nice tasting, while being functional. I don't know what the next trauma to befall my body will be, but hopefully this will help fix me up before whatever it is happens.

Until 5-6 years ago I don't think I had ever heard the word probiotic before. Then some yogurts started advertising it, saying they were the good type of bacteria, and that they helped with digestion and stomach issues. As someone who has suffered through stomach pain for a big portion of my life, I jumped right on that train. Do you know where that train took me? Nowheresville. Eating those yogurts that I generally thought were disgusting, did nothing to ease my pain. I guess probiotics can't do anything when the source of your pain is stress. I later discovered that if I cut out most of the corn syrup from my diet I wasn't writhing in pain every night. I don't know how that math adds up, but the pain is gone so I'm not complaining. The point in all of this is that only for the briefest moment of my life have I paid attention to anything because it was probiotic.

A few days ago some of these packets arrived at my door for review. The literature that was included claims that not only are probiotics good for digestion, but they also help with your immune system and promote healthy metabolism, by helping to absorb more nutrients. When we started Thirsty Dudes, Mike and I both swore the Hippocratic Oath of beverage reviewers to give all brings affair and impartial review (unless they contain bananas or vinegar), and to always listen to scientists because they are our betters and would never lie to us in a million, bazillion years. Keeping that in mind a doctor, who is one form of a scientist, created this and tells me it's good for me, and I am contractually obligated to believe him. It also helps that our reviews have very little to do with functionality and almost all to do with flavor.

When I opened up this packet I was greeted to a very pleasant smell. It was like my kitchen had been transformed into a smoothie shop. It's a very specific smell that is like berry ice cream, and it's delicious. Looking at the ingredients list I am informed that this is 95% stevia. That seems like a whole lot of stevia, especially since the berry flavor is so prevalent and the diet taste is so minimal. I knew there was zero sugar in here, but from the last I thought it was just berries with no added sweetener. That is how good of a job they did masking the stevia. It's a pleasant drink that I can only believe is very good for you as the scientist who created it has a higher ranking that myself, and it is illegal for me to question him. I will say that this seems like it would be a good additive for a smoothie, but that's probably just because all I can think about is getting a smoothie now, but I just ate and I don't want to leave the house. So, you know, someone bring me one.