Harvest Bay - 3 Reviews

For decades of my life I was denied the joys of the pina colada. My hatred of coconut ran so deep, that I dare not even try this delicious mixture. Why no one ever told me that toasted coconut and coconut water taste vastly different I will never know, but those people owe me a whole lot of this stuff to make up for lost time.

If I have learned anything from movies and other media it's that this is the taste of paradise. It's what everyone is constantly drinking in tropical locations. I completely understand why. It's extremely refreshing and it tastes wonderful. On top of that, whenever I drink some it gives me a relaxing sensation. It's like I'm in a hammock in the shade of some trees on a beach just listening to the waves. What other drink gives you that experience?

This has a nice pineapple flavor that perfectly blends in with the coconut water. It's also sweetened by palm sugar, which I have never tried before to the best of my knowledge. Even the sweetener is tropical with this drink. I need a vacation.

I believe there is a point in every person who has somewhat working taste buds when milk chocolate loses its allure. Something about it isn't as magical as when you were younger. You don't exactly know what it is that has changed, but something is different and you are none too pleased. Then after decades of thinking it was gross and inferior you find yourself eating some dark chocolate and your love affair begins anew. You realize that this bitter, semi-sweet snack is what chocolate was meant to taste like and anything else is just a perversion of perfection. Christ, that sounds like some garbage white power rant there, but I assure you people and chocolate are two very different things.

After this metamorphosis in life whenever you see the words dark chocolate on a product and excitement builds. The thing is that the process of making dark chocolate into a liquid fit for drinking isn't quite the same as a version whose main ingredient is milk. It's very easy to lose the certain pizzazz that gives dark chocolate its allure, and I'm afraid Harvest Bay didn't quite capture it. There is still enjoyment to be had with this beverage, but it falls in a grey area where it doesn't quite taste like coconut water nor does it full taste like a chocolate drink. It's floating in an in-between realm where chocolate has a slightly fruity taste to it. I've been here before and I can tell you it's not where I want to be. For me it's either go heavy on the chocolate, or leave it out altogether.

Recent studies suggest that coconuts kill five times more people than sharks. In an effort to curb these nauseating results, Harvest Bay went back to the drawing board and decided that they would mix their coconut water with iced coffee so that you can be faster and have more pep in your step so that you can avoid those pesky falling coconuts. Sure, they had to do a lot of testing and kill a lot of test subjects but they were murdering thieves so, you know, who cares? They would give them regular coconut water and throw coconuts at them. Then they would give them coconut water with iced coffee and they were faster for longer to help them avoid those dreaded coconuts.

The felons that lived described the coconut water with iced coffee in it as "Still pretty coconutty" and "lightly coffee'd." Criminals love to make up their own words. It wasn't sweetened but still had a pretty genuine coffee and coconut taste. The coconut was stronger than the coffee but nonetheless, a pretty decent drink.

Thanks to the criminals that will earn a gold star and an extra day out of "The Hole" before they have to go to "The Chair." Everyone wins.