Hijinks - 1 Review

Mark always thought that the life of a magician would be all glamour and no gutter. It had been his dream for as long as he could remember to wow crowds with his illusions. It was in his 47th year that his wife left him for the clown that had been the entertainment at their daughter's communion party. He had wondered if a clown would be appropriate for a day full of religion, but since he himself had no savior, he brushed it off. Turns out his wife had seen him at a coworker's son's birthday party and just wanted to rock the sheets with this white-faced wonder. After she left and he was alone, he knew it was time for a change. He left his medical practice and went to magic school. No not Hogwarts, that isn't even a real place. Don't you know the difference between fantasy and reality? He went to The Montana Institute of Magic and Illusion. He worked his butt off and graduated first in his class. He had nothing but positive thoughts about it all, that was until he was actually in the working world. There is very little glamour in being a magician these days. You worked long hours for unappreciative audiences, and the pay was next to nothing. Luckily he had a nice nest egg, so he decided to stick with it. It was after about six months of working 18 hour days that he was a broken man. His true love magic had worn him out to the point where he couldn't get through a show without downing a huge energy drink. Not only was this expensive, but he found that all of his special compartments in his props were getting filled up with cans for later on in the day. That is when he remembered his medical knowledge and he created Hijinks. It was essentially concentrated energy (namely taurine, caffeine, inositol, glucuronolactone, and l-carnitine). The only problem was that when he drank a little of it on its own it tasted absolutely horrible. It was like someone added a little bit of sweetener to weed killer. He then decided to package it in small bottles, and all he had to do was add it to whatever beverage was on hand. It became basically indistinguishable in whatever sweetened drink he added it to. When he had to resort to water, he could taste it slightly but it wasn't bad. He was elated. No longer did he have to worry about downing obscene amounts of sugar and chemicals. Well he still was ingesting the chemicals, but they somehow seemed safer.

He started giving it to other magicians and he became the belle of the magician's ball. Everyone knew his name and gave him thanks. He even made the cover of MAGIC Magazine for magician of the year. Sure his illusions were nothing special, but he had given the word of magic a way to make it through each and every day. That is why we are here today to unveil his statue in honor of the memory of Mark Jinks. As I'm sure you all know he sadly left this mortal coil when an illusion went horribly wrong and when he pretended to cut his assistant in half, he somehow cut himself in half. Always the one to see a trick through to its completion he continued sawing through the pain until his body was completely separated in two.