Life Juice - 4 Reviews

Carrots? Really rabbits? Just carrots? You're not very civilized now, are you? Bugs Bunny can dress up in all the fancy suits and dresses he wants. All the wigs and all the hats and all the lipstick in the world won't bring him up to the caliber needed for this drink. Four ingredients; carrots, apple, ginger, and lemon. Done. Bugs, you are a legend, but you stick to carrots. You can't handle the subtle heat that the ginger brings and aren't ready for the subtle sweet and sour of the apple and lemon. You could only handle twenty five percent of this drink and it simply doesn't warrant buying it.

I grew up on you and your hijinks. Your friends and foes got me through a lot of hard times but this carrot just is, as Madness said, one step beyond.

Dear World,
I would appreciate it if you could start giving me a $5-$10 a day stipend to spend on high quality juices. You see I blew the 1.3 million dollars that we made from Thirsty Dudes last year on a sweet jet and I can't afford to purchase my beloved juice now. I know I should have thought it over more, but at the time the plane seemed like such a good idea. I didn't take into consideration the continual cost of fuel, and I obviously can't afford that either, so here I am with this giant jet in my backyard, just sitting there. I know I could sell it, but do you have any idea how much one of those things depreciates just by taking it off the lot?

Back to my point: I love juice and it helps to keep me healthy. World, you want me to be healthy don't you…€¦and happy? I mean if you really don't want to keep me in supply of fresh juice, could you at least send me some Life Juice every couple weeks or so? It's the closest bottled juice that I have ever had to something that was juiced before my very eyes. I am particularly fond of this Positive Balance one. It's basically a mix between their Oh My Greens and Happy Belly juices. I mean there are some slight differences, but that's what it tastes like to me. It's a mixture of spinach, kale, parsley, cucumber, celery, beets, apples, carrots, ginger and lemons, and yes you can taste each and every one of those fruits and vegetables in it. Luckily the celery isn't as strong in this one, so it's basically perfect. It tastes like how a horse pasture in the country smells, well minus the poop. That might sound like a bad thing, but I assure you I mean it in a very, very good way.

So, what do you say world? Will you support my juice intake? I mean if you really want to lower it any more, I guess I could settle for Naked juice, but I wouldn't be nearly as happy as I would be if you just gave me butt loads of Life Juice.

Let's talk about celery a bit. Celery that comes in the little baggy with an order of wings is great. Do they do that everywhere, or is that just a Buffalo thing? It doesn't matter. What does matter is that wings come with carrots and celery sticks and a little thing of blue cheese. Now blue cheese is completely disgusting at any time other than this, but here it is acceptable. I love celery then. I have been known to enjoy a Cel-Ray soda. I am not a big fan of celery in soup and such, as I always thought it was the cooking of it that made it an overpowering flavor.

Cut to me sitting down with this drink and being excited. It has spinach, kale, cucumber and ginger as major players in it. Those are all flavors that I generally love. This was to be an even healthier take on Bolthouse and Naked's “green” drinks, which it is. There is no sugar added to this it's made with fresh raw fruits and vegetables, but the problem lies in the celery. With every sip I get that same flavor that tends to ruin a lot of soups for me. I was confused as to why Life Juice would use a vegetable that is so overpowering in flavor when it is known to be a “negative calorie” food. This caused me to do some research and I learned that celery actually has a ton of health benefits, from helping to lower blood pressure and cholesterol to helping to prevent cancer. Perhaps I do need more celery in my life. How about all of you start ordering more wings, so I can eat the stuff that comes with that and negate the health benefits by dipping it in wing sauce and blue cheese.

Okay, I got off on a tangent. Other than the celery this is yet again one of the freshest tasting bottled juices I have ever drunk. The apple juice gives it just a touch of sweetness, so it doesn't taste like you're just drinking a bottle of vegetables, which I really have no problem with, but I could see that turning off people…€¦a bottle of vegetables that is.

Actually now that I'm nearly done with the bottle the celery flavor isn't nearly as strong. I must be becoming acclimated to it, as I gave it a nice shake before I drank it. If the taste I am at now, was there from the beginning I would have had no complaints at all. I can still notice the celery, but it's blended in with the other flavors and not out front punching you in your stupid nose. Drinking this makes me want to eat better. I don't eat like complete garbage, but each sip reminds me of how good healthy things can be, and how much I enjoy vegetables even when they aren't pan fried into noodles or rice as I am prone to do.

Before I even start this I would like to say that if you are a big baby and don't like the taste of vegetables don't even bother with this drink. This drink doesn't want people like you to drink it. There are plenty of people out there who would love and treat it the way it deserves to be treated.

There are five simple ingredients here: apple, purple cabbage, parsley, lemon and ginger. These five little things make a truly wonderful beverage. If you ever wondered what health tasted like, look no further than this bottle. All five flavors are easily distinguishable with each sip. Even after a good shake, the parsley is the most present with the first couple of mouthfuls. It's kind of like chewing on some parsley and then taking a big gulp of juice. It sounds kind of gross, but in reality it's nice and refreshing. After you start to become accustomed to it, the other flavors blossom into greatness. For those of you with sensitive mouths, you'll be happy to know that you can taste the ginger, but it doesn't have a crazy burn to it.

If you've ever gotten a beverage at a juice bar you probably have a good idea of what this is like. I've never had a bottled juice that tasted so fresh before. You could have told me that this came fresh out of the juicer and I would have no reason to question you.

This is cold pressed and raw. I never thought about the way fruit and vegetables are juiced, but now that I have had this, and it's so simple, I have to say that cold pressed is the way to go. On top of that I've has an upset stomach for most of the day, and this definitely helped in easing my minimal suffering.