Old Colony UVA - 1 Review

When the colonials invaded the United States, the Indians, although polite, were leery on "the white man". White men came in, sat down next to each and every Indian, and co-ate a delicious meal with multicolored corn. All was good. They did a little bit of trading. Oh, you've got beaver pelts? We've got these sweet hats. You've got teepees? We've got homes made of brick and mortar. "Let's eat", the Indians say to the Colonials. "Oh, wait. We've got something for you in the boat. Hold on a second." The colonial dudes go into the boat and pull out a case and put it on the table. "What's this?" said the Indian Chief. "Oh, this ol' thing? It's just a case of our favorite pop, Old Colony. If you look, you'll notice that Carl's face is the silhouette on the can. Here, we brought a can for everyone. We're swimming in the stuff so you can have this whole case."

The Indians take a sip and the chief looks and the Colonial man disappointingly. "You call this grape?" He drops the half full can of pop on the grass, allowing it to spill onto the ground. The Admiral Colonial dude was flabbergasted. "Why would you do that? That's not a great first impression, I've got to say." The Indian, very heatedly said, "This is a mediocre grape pop. You think because we're Indians we've never had grape pop? What do you take us for? This is very sweet and although I can tell that it's inspired from concord grapes, it tastes like candy and we don't really do candy here."

Then the Admiral declared war because he's a baby and doesn't like when people insult his favorite pop.