Pacific Breeze - 4 Reviews

Johnny was a small-town boy. He grew up in a town with one stoplight, one gas station, one barber, and a local grocery store. He was listening to the radio and heard a sweepstakes where he could win a trip to "the big city." He was the tenth caller, won the prize, and before you knew it, he was on his way. He had been on a train before, but only a few towns over, never this far. It was a two-day trek and Johnny was more than prepared. When he arrived at the hotel in the city, he brought his one bag up and headed back down to enjoy the city itself.

He was a bit thirsty and went next door to a small store to get a drink. There was an endcap, which advertised a low calories, iced tea mix that you could mix with a bottle of water. He remembered that the hotel had a six-pack of water ready for him so he bypassed some of the stranger drinks.

Johnny went upstairs to make some tea and ran into a couple cute girls who he invited them up to his room. He told the girls to relax while he went into the bathroom to mix up a bottle of tea so that in the case that it made a mess, it wouldn't be too bad to clean up. He heard the girls talking and didn't think anything of it. He sat down on the bath to drink a little of the tea and initially it was a bit strong. He could have mixed it into a larger bottle of water, but all he had was a smaller bottle. It was a little bitter and did have some acai flavor. Acai was not a flavor he was familiar with but he thought it was bitter on bitter but mixed with a lot of sweet kind of evened things out. He drank about half of the bottle before he got up to see what the girls were up to. He went to leave the bathroom but the door was stuck. There was a phone in the bathroom, which he used to call the front desk to tell them that he was trapped in the bathroom. They came up and let him out and asked him what he was doing. He told them that he let some nice girls come in the room while he made some tea and then the door wouldn't open. The man asked him what happened to the television and Johnny didn't know what he was talking about. When he walked out of the bathroom, he noticed that the television, radio, coffee maker, and desk lamp was missing. The girls had robbed him. The maintenance man said that there is a security camera that was in front of the elevators and they won't be able to make it out of the hotel without being caught.

Johnny had been in the city for less than an hour and had already gotten robbed. He will never wonder again why his parents and grandparents never went to the city. City girls were trouble and he spent the rest of his trip not talking to anyone.

The bees have started revolting. The world is upset because "bees are going extinct" but in reality, the bees are fine, they're just mad. They're mad because companies have been making "pretty close" honey in powder form rendering the hard working bees of the past obsolete. Bees. They are annoying when you're allergic but they're fine. It's the typical, "don't bother them and they won't bother you" mantra. It's what the kid bee's parents say to them, too.

So man comes along and creates natural things unnaturally and sells them back to people who know and love the natural version of the unnatural thing. Makes sense...These super scientists have created a green tea with lemon and honey that isn't terrible for you, sweetened artificially, and made from powder that isn't absolutely revolting. I know, I know. "Absolutely revolting" isn't a hard level to surpass, but it's been done. It's not too sweet and actually tastes like you want it to all the while being 20 calories. What more could you ask for? Oh, I don't know. A tea made with real honey, lemons, and green tea. Beggars can't be choosers. Remember that mantra while you're categorizing the other one I reminded you of.

I am lucky. I have a good metabolism. I am not bragging. I don't eat like garbage, but I don't eat terribly well. I don't do diets. I have gone on stuff like a "no pizza for a month" diet. I don't put extra cheese on things. I don't do sour cream. I'm responsible. With all of that being said, I don't need to drink diet drinks. What that does for me is gives me a perspective of not being used to that "diet" taste. I don't have to give anyone credit because it's all that I have. When I review a diet drink and say, quite repetitiously "it has that diet taste" that doesn't mean that it's bad, that just means that people who don't drink diet drinks know what to expect and people that do drink diet drinks are already expecting it.

This drink has that diet taste, but the tea taste and the mangosteen are pretty good. It's a decent blend. If you're going to be a whiner, awesome. Enjoy being a jerk and hating everything. Not everyone has the luxury of eating an entire pizza and staying at their target, bathing suit weight. It's sweet and fruity and actually has a pretty good oolong tea taste. It's not the best I've had, but for a powder made from another powder, beggars can't be choosers.

Don't be a jerk to diet drinks and don't be a jerk to people on diets. I'm guilty, but at least I'm aware of it.

Powder drink mixes are great. They fit in small, secret locations so you can have a drink made out of water that you can buy anywhere. This tea is surprising, it is because the white tea leaves and blueberries and yes, a little bit of artificial sweetener, were zapped with a sweet laser that just turned whatever it hit into powder. The company sets up the leaves and everything on a special table in a special room, put on their protective goggles and zap away carefully. Once everything was powderized, they would take the janitors broom, climb on top of the table, and sweep the powder into a garbage can to be brought to the packaging facility.

The answer to your question is "yes." "What question?" you ask? The question of "Do they shoot other things with that sweet laser?" Yeah, dude. It's the ultimate prank prop. They powderize people's shoes and put the powder back in their locker. They powderize some of the people's food, like sandwiches and stuff, and put it back in the tupperware with a Post-It note that says "Just Add Water" and put it back in the fridge. They have a lot of fun but they never are unsafe around the laser. They know its powerful powers and do take safety precautions around it.

With this tea they created, they actually got it down. Nice, light bitterness, good berry flavor, and although it is a bit diet, it's better than regular, bottled diet iced teas. The bitterness covers up any nasty dietness that arises pretty quickly.

I don't know if they are hiring, but they will, for a small fee, powderize anything you want them to. You just need to supply a container to get rid of the dust and you also need to clean it up. They're not working for you. Also, a powderized ham sandwich tastes just as good in a little bit of water. It's frightening, but true.