Quick Beverages - 2 Reviews

Ho-lee-crud does this stuff work. Let me tell you a story.

I have a son who is 3 months old. Currently, he is watching TV and is awesome. Yesterday...not so much. Screaming. I work outta-da-home Mondays and Tuesdays and I typically get about 4 or 5 hours worth of work. Yesterday he was a jerk. Yeah, he's three months and he was a three-month-old jerk. I might have gotten two bad hours of work done and he screamed for hours. I just kept saying, "He's only a baby. You can't get mad at him." all day. From about 7 - 9 he was screaming for some reason. I needed to calm down. I went into the stash, saw that little bottle, and knew it was time. Frankie says "Relax".

I drank it in two sips. First sip was a very berry taste with a little bit of diet and the second sip flipped but it was over before it started and we were off to the races. Literally, fifteen minutes later I felt as if I was holding 50-pound dumbbells in each arm. You know when you're sleeping and you don't want to move your arms when you just wake up? That's where I was. You know when your significant other asks you to get a glass of water at 3 in the morning because, apparently, their legs are broken and you respond with something like, "A goose is at the door. Wait...what? Yeah, water, sure." That's where I was, promptly.

I would have slept soundly if it wasn't for that meddling kid, but when I did fall asleep, I don't think that you could have woken me up with a cannon, and this was only the Relax drink. Also, if it needs to be said, I didn't have any strange dreams.

My sleep habits have been absolutely terrible lately. I blame this stupid cold that I got. It started with me waking up way early for no reason, and being completely awake for a few hours before exhaustion set it. As my sickness progressed I started waking up for periods of time in the middle of the night. Last night it got to the point where I just couldn't sleep. I forgot to pick up some more cold medicine, so I downed this little guy.

I think they forgot to list all of the ingredients on the packaging. I think that because I didn't see Rohypnol listed. If you didn't know Rohypnol is the clinical name for "roofies." I feel like it has to be in there, because I was wide-awake, I drank this bottle, I laid down and the next thing I knew it was 9:30am. This was the most effective "relaxation drink" that I have had yet. I was out pretty much instantly. It's a bit diety and medicinal tasting, but since it's only a shot I can deal with that for the effects it has. It doesn't taste like toxic sludge, but it's not something I would drink due to the taste.

If you're at a bar or party and you see these little bottles lying around don't drink those drinks. No one wants to wake up in a dude bros gross bed, or worse in a tub full of ice with a note that you're kidney has been removed. Beware the dark harvest!