Shloer - 2 Reviews

Dear Shloer, just look at what you've done! You should be ashamed of yourself! You created a quality product with your sparkling red grape juice and now you've gone and sullied your family name with this abomination. For shame! I can't believe you would let it leave your facilities with the way it smells, which is to say like a hobo's breath. It doesn't taste much better either. I was told it tastes like cheap bad wine. I wouldn't know, but I do know that I would now never in a million years ever try cheap bad wine, because this is just bad. It certainly tastes fermented and gross. Out of the 10 people I had try it 3 said it was decent, not good, but decent and everyone else was completely grossed out. I wonder if it did start to ferment somehow and it now turning to alcohol. I took two sips and I really can't drink anymore. It's a shame it was such a big bottle.

I remember seeing this drink over in the UK. At the time I was on a pretty strict budget or basically no money, so I passed on trying it. This was also in the pre-Thirsty Dudes days, so I didn't feel the obligation to drink everything I saw. I didn't expect to run across it again in a small store in Lansing, MI. If you are also a scientist you will have come to the same conclusion I have; there is a warp point to the United Kingdom somewhere in central Michigan. I know your first thought is that we need to call immigration and get some border guards out here to tighten up security on this warp zone, but I'm pretty sure the terrorists don't know about it yet, so let's use it to our advantage. Think of all of the Jaffa cakes and Irn Bru we could bring over. On second thought those things are gross, let's tighten those borders!

Now that we're essentially closed off the point of entry let us sit back and sip on this bottle of Shloer. The way I've been pronouncing it, it sounds like a degrading term for women. Is that the way you're supposed to say it? If so what were you thinking UK? Enough of pronunciations. On to what's important, flavor. I expected this to be an overly sweet sparkling grape juice. While it is a sparkling grape juice, as is stated on the bottle, my scientific skills were not needed for that, it's not very sweet. It has a nice bitter grape taste to it. It was a nice surprise. I've been nursing the bottle for the better part of the day and I'm not sick of it yet. I kind of regret calling immigration on that warp point. Hopefully another one will open and I can score some more of these.