Spartos - 6 Reviews

There are times when we here at Thirsty Dudes get a lot of different flavors of the same product. At first we get really excited, and have fun with the reviews. Obviously we drink the flavors we are the most excited about early on, which leaves us with the flavors we couldn't care less about, or those that we actually fear drinking. These tend to be our shorter reviews that are straight forward and boring to write and to read.

This is the last bottle of Spartos that I have left. I'm not sure if the other guys have any other flavors to review, but this depletes my stock. I was not looking forward to this at all. While I like natural coconut water, when the flavor is mixed into other drinks it usually spells bad news for me. Add to that some zero calorie sweetener and whey protein and to me, that is a disaster waiting to happen.

It's nice to be wrong sometimes. This ended up being my favorite of the Spartos line. The strawberry and the whey protein mixed together nicely like a fancy dessert. Well, it's not as sweet as all that, but the stevia does do a nice job without tasting too off. You can tell it's there, but it's not running the show. That's all strawberries and cream. If I didn't know it was in here, I would never even think there was coconut in here, but as a child I learned that knowing is half the bottle, and I can taste it a bit. Luckily it's like a nice faint coconut water, and not some toasted garbage.

With this I bid you adieu Spartos. Maybe I'll see you again someday if you expand your line. I wish you the best, as you've made a handful of protein drinks that are interesting, and not chalky as all hell.

I don't hate the idea of working out but there are one hundred things I would rather be doing or have to do before I go work out. Therefore I never drink protein drinks because drinking them with no need for additional protein doesn't make much sense. No one is going to prefer the taste of a protein drink to a regular drink. No one. People that drink them have an understanding of the way they taste and that's fine. It's what they expect. This though, this kind of holds hands with both parties. It's not a bad drink as far as drinks go and although it has a lot of protein in it, it's only slightly dense. The flavors are good. There is a little bit of bitterness from the pomegranate and sweetness from both. It's got a bit of a tangy aftertaste that I am going to attribute to the protein but hey, 80% isn't that bad. It passed its math final. Now if it can only make sense of pro-nouns, adjectives, subjects, and predicates it can pass the language final.

While I love pineapples and all the juice they contain, it is sometimes nice to have it cut with another juice. If it's not a mixture of general tropical flavors, the go to for most companies is orange. It's a good choice. Oranges are great, but they are so common that people take them for granted. Mixed with pineapple they help cut down on the acidity that can make it painful to drink a lot of pineapple juice, and the oranges benefit from the pineapple flavor to make it stand out more amongst it's peers. I wonder how apple would work mixed it. I mean sure it would look silly on the packaging written out, but I bet if they used quality apples it would taste like liquid gold. Apple Pineapple or Pineapple Apple? They both sound ridiculous.

Unfortunately for all involved there isn't any actual juice in this bottle of Spartos, unless it's trace amounts under the banner of “natural flavors.” Actually no, small on the label it is written “no fruit juice.” It's a shame because while this is a decent drink (an even more decent drink considering that it is a fruity protein drink), but flavor-wise it falls close to Tang with a slight dairy edge. A citrus based tropical flavor, that is not quite orange or pineapple. The use of fruit juice would have solved that problem. Then again this is a water beverage and not juice, so that obviously wasn't what they were going for. It's just what I wish they had done. Don't get me wrong. I would rather drink this over 90% of the protein shakes on the market. Sometimes you just need to take the rough with the smooth.

A nice thing about Spartos is that all of their regular flavors have red caps and writing, while the sugar free varieties are yellow. It makes it nice and simple for those warriors going into battle who are concerned about their sugar intake. Let me tell you the numbers of those sorts of warriors are rising.

Many of you out there probably have no idea what jackfruit is. My personal experience with it is limited to is using an unripe one to make vegetarian pulled pork. At that point the fruit is not yet sweet and it makes a perfect substitute texture wise. I have never had ripe jackfruit before, nor do I believe I have ever had anything flavored by it. While I was drinking this I could faintly taste the watermelon, which is a feat unto itself, as it's such a watery fruit that getting it's flavor without it tasting like candy is nearly impossible. I also kept tasting a hint of banana, but it wasn't the gross aspect of bananas. I even checked the label twice to see if it had banana in it. I was certain there was just a little in there. Overall it had a nice tropical flavor, you know with a hint of banana.

When I got home, I did a little (minimal) research on jackfruit and discovered that when ripe it is sweet and tastes like a mix between a banana and a pineapple. It's good to know that my taste buds are still working properly after all these years. There is the “coolness” of the stevia, as Mike refers to it, but it lets the actual taste shine and not some fake diet flavor. It really is the superior sugar free sweetener.

Since I have never had an actual ripened jackfruit I can't say for certain, but according to the description I read of the flavor Spartos got it right on the nose. Now I want to take a trip to Toronto, hit up Chinatown and get some fresh jackfruit, both ripe and not. I've got fruit and veggie pulled pork on the mind.

Before I tried this beverage I had a phone call with Kirk from Spartos and he gave me the low down on his company. To sum up the conversation he wanted to create an all natural product that was heavy on protein, but wasn't marketed specifically to the gym rat crowd. You see protein is a necessity in life and it can do a ton of wondrous things for you, but people generally only think about it when they think about working out. Sure, it is especially great for you at that time, but it can also be greatly beneficial at other times in your life. He went on to tell me what I already know; nearly all protein drinks on the market are created for working out in mind and therefore do not pay much attention to the flavor, or the thickness of the whey protein they typically use. Seriously, how often do you see one that isn't vanilla or chocolate? Spartos went out and made a line of fruit based flavors that people could drink as readily as they drink Vitamin Water.

I have to say, they definitely got the consistency down. There is still a faint hint of the whey protein flavor, but it is not overpowering and it's certainly not present with the thickness of the drink.

I generally like it when companies use out of the ordinary (well at least in the US) fruits in their drinks. In this I do have to question the use of Yuzu. For those not in the know is like a cross between a grapefruit and a mandarin. Sounds great, right? Unfortunately not in this drink. It's got a very distracting tart flavor that over shines the blackberry 3 to 1. It made it kind of hard to get through this bottle.

I really wanted to like this a lot as I can get behind what the company is going for 100%. Unfortunately this one is not for me. Had it been solely blackberry I think I would have loved it. Hopefully the other flavors will be better.

I went to a school and our mascot was a Spartan. That being said, I feel like one out of every ten schools has a Spartan as their mascot. Seems like a limited pool of available mascots. Anyhow, had I cared about sports, and was on the football team in high school, and this company existed, I might write them a little something like this:

Dear Spartos,
My name is Mike and I am the defensive tackle for my high school football team. Why am I bringing this up? Because our mascot is the Spartan. Why do you care? Look, sir or madame, I know that your company is called "Spartos" but we're all coming from the same region with this thing.

I was wondering if you would be nice enough to sponsor us with your protein water. We could have those theater nerds paint us a banner with your logo on it. Also, I'm only calling them nerds because that's what we, the football team, have to do. Haven't you ever seen a John Hughes film? The football team, AKA "jocks" always pick on the theater kids or anyone that is creative and can think for themselves. We don't want to, but we have to. They understand. They watch the same movies we do. Anyhow, after testing your grape lemonade drink, I think that it's something that we, the team, can get behind. It's got a little bit of a fake sweetener taste and a little bit of that protein thickness, but you kept the calories down which is good for us stereotypical high school football kids. We like to blast Smashmouth in the weight room and drink this because it makes the proteins go where they need to like our quads. The grape and lemonade are actually noticed and appreciated. Good fruit and tartness from both players, much like me on the fields interactive with my tight end. No, not my butt. Get it? See, I'm seventeen and think that butts are hilarious. I'll grow out of that, right?

If you think that we would help push product, please let us know. We are a hard working team with a mediocre to poor record that could use all the help we can get. Yes we will share with the wrestling team but we will not share with the video game club. Those nerds are already sponsored by Mountain Dew. I don't know what it is about video games and Mountain Dew but those two are eternally together.

Sincerely,
High school junior, fake, dramatized, Mike Literman.