Squamscot - 5 Reviews

With a label like this one would think that this soda would be incredible. It looks so classic and classy. One would be slightly wrong. It's not incredible. It's merely average.
It tastes like an everyday store brand ginger ale, but with a nice aftertaste burn. The thing is that I don't believe the burn is actually from ginger, as it's not listed on the ingredients. I believe it's actually the sodium benzoate that causes that reaction. It feels different than a ginger burn, and it's not as strong. If I had never had a ginger beer before I would probably be pretty stoked on this, but since I've had a lot of the good stuff this just doesn't cut it.

Every time I read Squamscot on one of these bottles I instantly start thinking about Sasquatch. Then my mind starts to wonder and I create a scenario where Squamscot is actually a close relative of Sasquatch that has moved down to New Hampshire. He decided he needed a change in his life so why not move to a coastal town on the east coast? Perhaps he hopped a train, or maybe he just walked across the United States. I doubt the latter because the mid-west is awful flat and I'm pretty sure someone who notices some variety of Bigfoot just trekking across the prairie. Who knows? Maybe he even shaved up his fur a bit and took a bus. Obviously planes aren't an option. I mean where is Squamscot going to get a government issued ID to board a plane? However he got there, he now resides in historic New Hampshire.

The townspeople know the stories and a group of them got together to create some soda to honor their guest from the Pacific North East. Unfortunately this cola doesn't have the same bite that I can only assume the Squamscot has. It's actually one of the smoothest colas I have ever had, and that isn't something I look for in this type of soda. It definitely has more of an old fashioned brewed taste, but it just doesn't quite reach the goals it was trying to achieve. If they had taken this recipe and added a bit of a bite to it I could see myself really loving it. As it stands let's just hope it doesn't upset the Squamscot creature. We don't want it going into a rampage and destroying the tourist area of town.

First of all, "Squamscot" sounds disgusting. I don't want to say what it sounds like, but there's definitely an ointment or salve for it. Secondly, I had to get this pop. "Fruit Bowl?" What the heck is that? It's so generic and nondescript that it had to be purchased. Bowls of fruit, or fruit salad to layman, are not like BLT's. No, not the black kid from Degrassi, the sandwich, you dummy. What's in a BLT? There's bacon, Lettuce, and tomato. Done. No variation. What's in a fruit salad? Everyone's mom makes it differently. Apples, grapes, oranges, pineapples, gross pears, blueberries, and so on and so forth are merely some of the things you can put in there, but there is no law, like there is with BLT's. One thing that you don't put in fruit salad or fruit bowls are Sucrets. Yes. Sucrets, those little red lozenges that numb your throat that are ideal when you have a cough. This smells a little like watermelon, but it does not taste like it. It's a fun, red color, and kids would go wild, but as someone that should be an adult and clearly isn't, it's frightening.

Small sips are sharp, large sips are more subdued and the medicinal flavor comes in later. It's kind of a lose/lose scenario. It's like as if a cherry candy was crushed into powder and thrown into a cherry pop. Friends? Not for me.

Since Buffalo has apparently skipped three seasons and gone directly back into winter I thought it would be fitting to review a Xmas themed beverage. When I showed people this soda I was surprised that no one mentioned anything about it causing the drinker to go on a kissing spree. For that I'd like to thank my friends for not being as idiotic as myself, or at least to have the restraint to not say stupid things aloud.

Due to it being a season drink I expected this to have a bunch of spices in it, or to be minty for some reason (I blame the leaves on the label). Neither of those things were true at all. In fact it tastes more like it should be a summer beverage. It has a flavor that is similar to lemonade. It's like someone made a lemon lime soda but actually used lemonade and limeade. Then they decided to put in just a dash of berry for good measure. It's not bad by any means. In fact it's a damn good alternative to 7Up or Sprite. I just don't understand why it's marketed the way it is.

Half and half, huh? Half and half of what, I ask you? White? What's white? Mountain Dew White Out, albinos, white chalk? What is this? It tastes like a lemon, lime, grapefruit mixture, but with "natural and artificial" flavors as the ingredient. What's a boy to think? It's sweet and so sour. Like eating a lemon and a lime in hopes that the combination will just magically/stupidly create 7Up. If you haven't done it already, don't bother. It doesn't work. What is this?! It's good, but it is strange. There are little, sour tweaks that make it feel like you're taking a drill bit to your jawbone. No, not your pompous bluetooth headset. I'm talking about your actual, physical jawbone. It's like someone took 7Up, Squirt, and a handful of Smartie powder and called it a drink.

If you're in New Hampshire, find it. It's a strange guy and a stranger named company.