Tampico - 3 Reviews

Tiny jugs: my least favorite in both sexual and beverage terms. Sure, they're adorable, but sometimes it just doesn't cut it. In beverage terms, which I will speak of from here on out, jugs of any kind rarely imply a quality beverage. Glass is king. Plastic jugs both large and small often contain milk, orange juice, or borderline swill. This is a step above the latter but nothing you should drink more than once a month.

This is pure sugar and you can taste it. Append that to the fact that it's not real sugar and is corn syrup and has that sting that crap juice carries along with it. Flavor wise it is that of a tropical Starburst but in liquid form so you get too much of what you love. Yes, it is true. If you ate ten strawberry banana Starbursts, you might get the sensation of each sip of this drink; highly concentrated fruit juice.

If you drink this on the regular, expect a knock on the door after the large population of the CPS reads this post. I don't know why, but those guys love this website. Probably because it's a simple way to track the sales of specific drinks to bad parents. I like to think I'm helping some people out there. In this case, it's CPS and the kids who have teeth hanging on by a theoretical thread.

It's times like this that I wish we had been more specific when we started Thirsty Dudes. You know, like just pop or just iced tea. That would be a good life, just reviewing iced tea. Nope, we decided to take on the entire non-alcoholic beverage world and because of that choice I sit here now drinking Tampico.

First off, there is no possible way that this started off as a juice. I can only assume they started with a vat of water and added some agents to thicken it up a bit. Then they added a tiny amount of juice concentrate and some artificial flavors. Oh let's not forget the mass amount of corn syrup that was added as well. The result is as much of a juice as Sunny Delight is. It really actually reminds me of a slightly thinner Sunny D, except it's supposed to be mango flavored instead of straight orange. I'll stick with real juice, and dreams of a world where iced tea reigns supreme.

I'm sick. I don't like it, I don't deserve it, and I don't want it. My strategy for dealing with sickness is usually as follows: drink as much orange juice as humanly possible. It does me well. I go to the store on my way to work once I find out that I might be getting sick and I buy one of the small cartons of OJ and just house it all day. Next day I'm usually right as rain.

Yesterday I was minding my own business and it hit me like a truck. Spacey head, super sensitive hair, it hurt when I breathed in, overall muscle ache. Those were the symptoms. Today, I am left with everything at about 50% so at this rate, I should be back to normal in a day or two but man, it's taking a lot out of me. I ran out of OJ and saw this little guy in my stock and decided that I would allow him to help me. It's a very familiar taste, as you and I have grown up with it, because it tastes like Sunny D.

Now here's the thing, I don't like about Sunny D. It burns. Something in there mixed with something else in there that makes me feel like I have a sore throat and who wants that? This is a smoother Sunny D but still with the same generic citrus taste. Although it says there is orange, tangerine, and lemon, you can't really distinguish between them too much.

I thought it was pretty good and would defiantly recommend this over classic Sunny Delight, regardless of how classic it is.