Zompo - 2 Reviews

"Zompo!" that's the word. We're going to invent the new "awesome" or "tubular" or "radical" or all those other timeless phrases. What's going to start to inspire it, team? This pop. Nothing says "zompo!" like kiwi, lime, and cream. Kids and adults alike love when all sorts of things are mixed together and this certainly is a lot of mixed things.

Look, I've never been to Italy and I'm also not Italian, but if I know Italy and Italians, it's when you mix kiwi, limes, and creams together. That is Italian. Pizza and spaghetti, sure, that's more Italian, but you're not going to make a pizza or spaghetti pop, although I have thought of it due to my love for both foods. Look, kiwis are exotic, limes are wonderful to add a little zing to things, and cream soda is used to really smooth things out. Who doesn't love an exotic, zinging, smooth drink? Certainly not me, I love the stuff.

I've brought you all in not only as interns, but also as testers for our new products. I wanted you to taste a bit of this and let me know what you thing. Shannon, you are the voice for the team. What did you think of this? Strange tasting key lime pie? Is strange tasting good? Not really? Hmm. Can you break it down a little bit for me? Too much overall flavor in the beginning and it's not until a minute after you drink it that the cream kicks in and it tastes good for a couple seconds. Well that's not very good. Very sweet and a little stingy? Alright, that's the cane sugar and the lime. I wonder if we toned it down in both departments it would be better. What's that Carl? Oh. Team, Carl the director of operations said that we've already made ten thousand bottles and we can't afford to dump them all out and start with a new recipe.

I hope that Shannon, you and your team are a small subset of the population and this isn't the way that most people see this drink. We've got other flavors, sure, but I put a lot of thought into this one. Carl, ship 'em out and let's see what happens. Shannon, you and your team can collect your ten dollar gift cards to K-Mart on the way out.

Feeling sluggish? - Zompo!

Enjoy sparkling fruit juice - Zompo!

Like fake ethnic drinks? - Zompo!

Know the molecular makeup of hotdogs? - Zompo!

Get Zompofied people!

I think this may have been created as a prop for Breakin' 2 - Electric Boogaloo. The label just screams 80's break-dancing and graffiti. Maybe Zompo was a character in the movie, but his appearance was left on the cutting room floor in order to give the film a shorter running time. I bet Zompo could do some sick freezes.

Less about the fictional character Zompo and more about Zompo the soda. I was shocked to see that this actually has strawberry and raspberry juice in it (albeit in concentrate form). It's rare that either of those fruit juices appear in soda. Normally when it's supposed to be one of those flavors it's all artificial flavoring and ends up not tasting like the fruit at all. This on the other hand definitely tastes like juice, juice laced with ginseng. Oh ginseng our dirty, dirty friend. YOU can always be spotted in drinks with your weird root/dirt flavor.

There are two misleading things on the label.
1. It's says it's an Italian style smoothie. There is nothing about this drink that would qualify it as a smoothie. It's a soda pop, or possibly a sparkling juice. It just doesn't have the consistency of a smoothie. Oh man, think of a nice thick smoothie that was carbonated. That would just be terrible. I mean I would of course drink it, but I would be weirded/grossed out the whole time.

2. The flavor is Wild Berries & Cream. That would lead one to believe that this was some sort of cream soda. One would be mistaken. There is no vanilla flavor, nor is there any creaminess to the texture of this drink. As I said before it tastes like carbonated berry juice with some ginseng thrown in the mix. Speaking of which, it's kind of odd that they chose to add ginseng, ginko biloba, guarana and caffeine to this. I think it makes it an unnecessary energy drink. Oh well, at least it's a natural energy drink and not filled with man-made chemicals.