Agua Enerviva Lo Cal Natural Energy Strawberry Kiwi + Guarana

You've got a great thing. Imagine, if you will, a pristine Pontiac Fiero. Gorgeous, right? Red with those strange but lovable cloth seats with the speakers in the headrest. Manual transmission, stock everything, fastback, and unaltered in every way. You love it, much like Cameron's dad's Ferrari in Ferris Bueler's Day Off, you wipe you car with a diaper. You reach a point in your life, though, where you've got a kid and you can no longer see yourself driving such a cherry roadster so you have to sell it. An eighteen year old in a beat up Neon comes to your house, hands you cash, and you sadly give him the keys and the title.

A year later you see the car around your work. It's got a dent in the hood, a plastic bag taped to the passenger window because of an apparent break-in attempt, bigger tires, and a different color passenger rear view mirror. You feel like all your hard work preserving the best of 1988 was for naught and shed the saddest single tear your eyes have ever shed. This drink is that.

You've got one great second of strawberry and kiwi that you wish never ended followed by a diet massacre. The final ingredient is sucralose, which ruins this entire drink turning it into the abomination of what it once was. It truly starts out very promising but then promptly takes a turn for the worse.

Both drinking this and writing that intro made me sad.