Arizona CocoZona Original

Imagine you are on a sandy beach in the Caribbean. You have just gotten back from snorkeling and swimming with dolphins. Yes, you did hold on to their fins and yes you did name one "Echo". You had to, even though you hated the game because it was impossible. You also went on an excursion where you rode a zip-line from one side of a gorge to the other and at the end there were tacos and instrumental covers of Smiths songs played by an indigenous Caribbean steel drum band. You are in heaven.

As you sit on the beach and look across the crystal blue waters, a waiter comes by and offers you a drink. You don't care what it is since everything is perfect and nothing can ruin your day. You take a sip...and it's strange. You open your eyes and you've got a can of Arizona's new CocoZona drink. You have to drink it because you don't want to upset the waiter but you only kind of like coconut so every sip is difficult. You start going the other route, which is taking giant chugs to get it over with faster. It tastes like you just took a bit out of a coconut. Yes, I know you can't just do that and machetes are involved in the processing of coconuts, but if you could take a bit out of a coconut, that's what it tastes like. You turn the bottle around and notice that the only ingredient is coconut. Why did you even bother looking? You finally finish the drink as the sun sets and as you get up to go to dinner, a young child comes and punches you square in the bathroom area. Your night has been ruined.