Avery's Birch Beer

This has a real sharp smell and it beckons your call, like a siren to the black abyss. I steer my mouth/ship towards the bottle/sharp rocks. Here's where I can no longer make similes between enchanted sea women and pop because this took a turn. If I may make one last Greek mythology reference, if I was a boat, I would have avoided the sirens call, not waiting for it like Bernard Sumner and friends wanted me to do, because this was one of the smoothest drinks I've ever had. It's a birch beer that goes down smooth like a cream soda. It's really strange.

It is not bad. Let it be known, but I wanted a gnarly bite, like I normally get with my birch beers. It's like those fireworks that you like but don't last long enough for you to be fully satisfied with. There is a quick giant explosion and then a quick disintegration. Sure, I could make a Cure reference, but that's too many English new wave bands in one review for even me.

That last statement isn't true. There are never enough obscure references in our reviews. If anything, there isn't enough "review" in our reviews. Guess what, it's not going to change.