BluePrint Cold Pressed Juice Beverage Kale Apple Ginger Romaine Spinach Cucumber Celery

I'm sorry about your jaw, honey. It's for the best, though, right? I mean, if you were going to have a life long issue with your misaligned teeth, it's probably a lot easier for you to have it wired shut and realigned for a couple months and never have to worry about it. I know it's impossible for you to eat solid food but we can blend and juice things so you don't have to eat ranch dressing for three months. Ugh, just the though of that...

I bought you a salad from that nice new restaurant. I know you can't eat it but I thought we could use that juicer that we got for a wedding present. I know; I didn't put it on the registry either. We might have used it once in the last five years we've been married. I bet your uncle Paul bought it for us. That tasteless gift would have matched perfectly to his Hawaiian shirt he wore to the reception. I saw it on the menu and I think you would like it. I dusted off the juicer and I'm going to make you a nice, tasty juice. Hold on a couple minutes and I'll get this ready for you.

Here you go, honey. It should taste just like the salad. It does, doesn't it? Yeah...wait. What do you mean you don't really like it? Can I take a sip of it? You know what? It makes sense. As a solid, it's great but salad was never meant to be a liquid. I can tell that it means well and you can kind of taste everything but there is a certain element of chewing that I expect and this seems a bit...pre-chewed, I guess. I don't want to go back to the ranch dressing and this is definitely better for you but I understand. You probably should drink the rest of this, like it or not because it has to be super healthy and also a great way for you to get all the nutrients you need pretty quickly. There is little to no nutritional value in salad dressing, just salad.

Yes, I did get a dessert. It's an ice cream sundae that I think will blend into a nice milkshake. I think we're safe there. This might have not been the best idea I've ever had and I will be the first to admit that.