Crush Orange

Children gather 'round the campfire and I shall tell you a story from the before-time. As you know before the apocalypse came people lived in houses and there were things called cities. Gas may have been $4 a gallon (Oh yes we had a thing called money that we exchanged for goods and services. Thievery and bartering weren't very prevalent.), but at least there were gangs of marauders terrorizing the countryside searching for the last drops of gasoline to fill their motorcycles of doom.....of doom!

Anyways, in the great north there was a city called Toronto. That city contained a very special and magical place. At the intersection of the roads Queen and Spadina resided a man wiser than most. He ran a little hot dog cart. It wasn't like the other street meat venders though. He had a vision. A vision of a world filled with condiments. He slowly built up an empire of toppings that overflowed from his cart. Before long he had a sign boasting "Over 50 Toppings." It was because of that sign that he was dubbed "50 Toppings Guy." He even had secret toppings behind his cart for those in the know.

From the years 2000 until 2007 he reined Toronto with a tender hand, dispensing hot dogs and veggie dogs alike to everyone who graced his presence. In 2007 a change was on the rise. This marks the beginning of the great hot dog cart war. Prices were slashed to kill out the competition. The number of condiments dropped, because there wasn't enough money in the till to keep them stocked. It wasn't long before 50 Toppings Guy couldn't hold on any longer. In his muppet-esque voice he agreed to sell the stand to the enemy. Many claim this to be the sign that the end of the world was coming soon. Soon the once mighty stand at that intersection became nothing more than a clone of the other stands around the city.

Many folks kept returning to the spot to buy their hot dogs in homage to the once great owner. It was like visiting a gravesite, where you left flowers. Only instead of leaving flowers they left onions and corn relish scattered across the pavement. There was another casualty in that great war. You see 50 Toppings Guy always stocked the much sought after orange soda C-Plus. When he was overthrown the empty can remained in the display that showed what sodas were available. Unfortunately for the mourners when it was ordered they were always handed a can of Orange Crush. There is nothing wrong with Orange Crush. It's pretty much the standard for "normal" orange sodas. It has that flavor that is said to be orange, but when you think about it, it bears no resemblance to the actually fruit. It's more like the flavor of the color. The problem is that it's a let down when you are expecting a superior soda.

Children the night has grown old and the fire is burning low. Let us retire to our lean-tos and sleep lightly in fear of hearing the motorbikes on the horizon. Before we go let us sing our prayer to 50 Toppings Guy.

Hot dog land.
Hot dog land.
You better put that hot dog in my hand.
We're putting pickles on the dogs.
Even though we just put relish on.
Eat all you can in the hot dog land.