Day's Watermelon

You've had a watermelon, right? They're great. Seedless you get to eat and not worry about seeds. Seed-full and you get to spit seeds all across town like it is the twenties and you are some sort of fruit crazed mobster just spraying out your friend's car window. Sometimes you get a watermelon that is a bit too soft for your comfort but I think that the flavor is always pretty decent. It's just the texture that goes with old age in a watermelon. The people at Day's have never had a real watermelon a day in their life and this drink is the proof. This tastes like watered down candy watermelon. It's almost flavorless. It just tastes like carbonated sugar water and before you get all "all pop is is carbonated sugar water" this time you would be right. There's a real lack of flavor going on in this too-big bottle.

For all of the children of yore, this is not the watermelon you remember. This is some new, space watermelon that lacks everything that made the classic watermelon great. Flavor, seeds, and the ability to see how long it would take you to spit a mouthful of seeds.