Hydrive Energy Decaf Wild Peach

Peaches are soft, weak fruits. They've got a fuzzy exterior and are a soft pink color. They're wimps. Cue wild peaches: tough guys with hard exteriors. Emotionless, these guys go into bars, dump popcorn on your head and then hit on your girlfriend. They are notorious for kicking sand at you when you are at the beach. That's the worst kind of bully right there. They do it when you, a human, are asleep. All fruit has their own life. What?! You thought they just hung out on vines and trees all day? Nope. Wrong. When you juice a peach, which is like genocide, but that's an argument all in its own, you get juice. When you juice a wild peach, you get all the piss and vinegar that comes with it in the form of energy.

Hydrive, the foremost hater of wild peaches put this little drink together because they think you would like it and they actually have the ability to bottle up their enemy. If you could, you would. The taste of success is sweet, a little diet, but definitely sharper than a regular peach drink which is as soft as a fresh pup's fur. This doesn't taste like peach too much at all so if you hate peaches like Hydrive hates their crazy relatives, you might still like this.

If those wild peaches didn't pee in the window of CEO of Hydrive's car and put all those framing bags of wild peach poop on his front porch, we wouldn't be able to enjoy this drink. He is the mastermind behind this but they're seriously jerks.