India Grape

India Grape
Ma'am I have to admit that you're not inviting me to your party. Here I am slaving away at this grocery store for your benefit. I've bagged a full satchel of hot dogs and you have about 30 cases of grape soda. It's obvious to everyone present that you are about to have a barbeque of gigantic proportions. This is a small town ma'am and with that amount of food I can only assume that everyone around here has been invited except me. Was that an oversight, or have I done something to offend you are your family? If I have I apologize, and I can assure you it wasn't intentional. I didn't even know that I did it. Come on ma'am don't lie to me you're obviously having a party. The only reason anyone would buy that much soda was if they loved it so much and it wasn't in production any more. In a similar vein the only other reason anyone would buy that many hot dogs was if they had some weird compulsion that they needed to bath in blended up hot dogs. What? You do have that infliction? I'm sorry ma'am I didn't mean to offend or embarrass you. I really thought you were having a barbeque ma'am.

Okay ma'am that explains the hot dogs, but what's up with the grape soda if I may be so bold as to ask? You just love it? Well, I guess that's understandable. It just tastes like generic grape soda to me. You know like a carbonated melted freezie pop with an obscene amount of sugar added. I understand buy maybe a case if you like it that much, but you have so much it's going to be hard to fit this in your car. Oh your hot dog bath is going to last a month and you want to make sure you stay hydrated during that time. Ma'am I think there may be something seriously wrong with you. I highly suggest you talk to a physical before amercing yourself in a hotdog milkshake for a month, while only nourishing yourself with mediocre grape soda. Yes ma'am I know I'm just a bag boy. No I do not have a medical degree. You know what ma'am have a good day, and have fun in your hot dog tomb. I'm pretty sure this is the last time anyone will ever see you alive, or with teeth.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Soda Pop
Company
India
Country
Puerto Rico
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Author
Jason Draper on 1/5/12, 5:28 PM
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