Jones Soda Candy Corn Soda

Being a werewolf isn't all that it's cracked up to be. You know how in movies and books people only change in to the beast on nights of the full moon, well that's a load of crap. You're a wolf all year around. The only thing different about the full moon is that you have an undying craving for banana peanut butter sandwiches. Let me tell you those things are gross any other time, but as soon as that moon is shining down, it's all you can think about.

So yeah, I have to live in hiding most of the time. It's annoying and I hate it. I have to order out for food all the time and leave money for the deliveryman so he'll leave the food at the door. I know what you are thinking and yes I do weigh nearly 300lbs from eating pizza and Chinese food every night, not to mention those stupid sandwiches. I don't even want to get in to how I get the money to pay for the food. Let's just say it involves a web cam and a razor. At least Halloween is right around the corner. It's the one time of year that I can go out and interact with people without them freaking out. I usually win some bar tabs for best costume as well. Pretty rad. I also love the candy of Halloween. I'm a fat wolf I've learned to deal with it. The bane (pun intended) of this festive candy is the candy corn. Everyone always has it out and without thinking I always throw a handful in my mouth, where I am reminded that it is gross and just a solid mass of sugar.

This year I saw this at a party and I had to grin and bear it as someone made a joke about me posing for the can. If I actually looked like that I would probably put a silver bullet right through my heart. That is one ugly creature. Well this was put in my hand, so I had to drink it. It really smelled like candy corn, so I was bracing for the worst. When I worked up the courage to take a sip I was pleasantly surprised to discover that it's a cream soda with a little extra something to it. It's 90% cream soda and 10% candy corn. It's a great ratio. It hints at the candy corn without the terrible texture. I wish I could find this throughout the year.

I really need to get out more. My people skills are at an all time low. I've snarled at my fair share of people tonight and I'm starting to get weird looks. I should probably head home soon. I really need to look into moving into a colony of "furries." I bet they wouldn't even notice that I wasn't wearing a costume.