Jones Soda Cream Soda (Sneak Attack)

Elves. What is worse than stinkin' elves? Everyone is always like "Oh the elves are so cute. The elves never do anything wrong. Stop beating that elf over the head with that leg of lamb." How is it that I am the only one who can see them for the sneaky little turds that they are?

Here's a perfect example. Last week my barrels of cream soda I have been brewing were just about ready to be drank along with the mead. This morning I went to go check on them and give it a little tasting and four of the five barrels were gone, and the fifth had been drained. Of course I didn't see them do it, but as I stormed out of the still one of those little buggers yelled "Sneak Attack" and they all giggled. I know it was them. They are the ones responsible for all of our goods that go missing. If we went and stormed their fortress in the woods I'm sure we'd find it all. We'd find my sweet, sweet vanilla cream soda. Sure, it might actually be a little too sweet, but I don't see you doing any better. The vanilla taste is great, without leaving much of an aftertaste. Oh man I was so smart to use the inverted cane sugar to sweeten it. It made the soda way less syrupy. I'm getting all worked up now. I want that soda, and if it takes elven blood being spilled for that to happen....SO BE IT!!!

ps: I'd like to say this was a special blend, but it's really just the normal Jones cream soda with a different label.