Mapco Tallboys Orangeade

James wanted to be a rapper. He was only eight, but he knew it. He loved all the gold and the hundred spoke rims, and the beats. Oh the beats. He got the idea that he wanted to drink Orangade because he thought that it sounded like Tanqueray. He heard Tanqueray mentioned in the Self song "Call Me Back" off the album "Porno, Mint, & Grime" that his brother listened to all the time.

James was at the gas station with him mom and there it was; a tallboy of Orangeade. He asked his mom if he could have some and she said that he could. He was so excited. He put his dollar in nickles, dimes, pennies, and lint on the counter and left. He sat with it in his lap the whole way home. When he got back to his house, he took the can and ran upstairs. He slammed the door behind him, which his father absolutely hated and honestly, who likes it when people slam doors? He went under his mattress and next to the issues of The Source and miscellaneous, burned Dr. Dre CDs, he found what he was looking for; an actual 7" of "Radio" by LL Cool J. He put it on his tan, plastic Fisher Price record player, slid the plastic volume lever all the way to the right, cracked open his can of orangade and let the beats kick.

"I don't mean to offend other citizens, but I kick my volume way past ten" the record player scratched out of its terrible speakers. James sat, in his personal heaven, with his new drink, wishing. He was wishing that the drink he so anxiously purchased didn't taste like someone watered down orange juice and then carbonated the remains. He liked orange juice. He's eight. He likes pop. He's eight. He didn't like being stuck in a drink purgatory.

He drank half the can, stopped the record, and opened the door. He went downstairs to have meatloaf with his family. When his mom asked him how his drink was, he could only shrug. This was James' first taste of disappointment.