Martinelli's Apple Juice

Imagine if you will, a story involving any random college dude-bro who talks to himself.

Dude. I don't want to drink. After an all week binge of the lowest quality, domestic beer, I need something else. I need something with no added sugar and something that's not strange. I can't deal with anything half gelatinous or spicy. I also think that I need something the size and shape of a baseball. Got it, I'll have a step above a child's size apple juice.

This was a wonderful apple juice. Sure I feel childish drinking apple juice but I also don't shave and don't terribly care what people think. Giving it a 4. I would love to play flip cup with a keg of this apple juice. Can you keginate apple juice?