Polar Seltzer Champagne Strawberry

People know that I am straight edge but many of them don't know why. I will give you the short reason why.

My friends growing up didn't really drink so it was fine to almost have a beer here and there. My entire lifetime, I might have drank two beers, one glass of champagne and a glass of wine. Total. People I know drink more than that in one night. That is not why I don't drink.

I don't drink because I went away to college and saw people on their own for the first time drinking so much that before the fifth of vodka hit their system, they knew what was about to happen and asked people to punch them in the stomach to make them puke. I saved female friends in parks from being felt up because everyone was drunk and no one wants to hear the next day that ten creeps touched your boobs. I saw people abandoned on park benches because they were too drunk to deal with. That's why I don't drink. I have fun doing a lot of dumb stuff and don't need to get any dumber. I'm not saying that you can't drink responsibly and have a good time, I'm just saying that I don't need it in my life and I don't feel that it will enhance anything and I don't feel like I'm missing anything.

That being said, this champagne strawberry seltzer is pretty good and pretty close to what I remember champagne to taste like. It's still got that "seltzer" taste, sure, but it actually has a good, faint strawberry taste, and a frighteningly accurate "alcohol" aftertaste. It's good enough that I probably drank thirty ounces of it. Alcohol taste and all. Something about these Polar bottles keep me coming back for more every time I drink them.

Now the season is about us where people drink a lot. Maybe calm down a little this season and drink some of this. It tastes like what you're drinking anyhow and you can drink and drive with this all day. If you like it, maybe kick in the New Year with the resolution of not pretending you're still nineteen. Unless, of course you are nineteen, which in that case you probably drank when you were reading this. Keep up the good work, nineteen year old. Better study for that Math 101 final next week. Start by multiplying the amount of empty Genny Cream Ale cans you have scattered throughout your apartment by five to find out how you're going to afford pizza tonight.