Pop Shoppe Pineapple

As ambassador for the island of Pineapple Pokopo I would like to assure you that I am as much as a professional as you can get on the subject of pineapples. I have had them prepared every way possible. I've had them sliced, diced, baked, fried, fire roasted, shoved inside of various mammals and fish. You have not lived until you've had pineapple stuffed dolphin. My mansion is actually built 100% out of pineapple. You wouldn't believe how strong that fruit can get when it's compressed enough and then shellacked.

I tell you all of this because on my vacation to Toronto you had the audacity to serve me this soda?!?! This is not my beloved pineapple! I bet that the ingredients in the bottle have never even been in the same fruit with any fruit, let alone one as pure as mine. I demand you change the name of this immediately! What's that you will call it "ananas?" Is that some sort of banana? Oh it's French for pineapple. I can deal with that. I've never met a Frenchman, so I assume I'll never run into anyone who knows that information.

Now that it has a new name this is actually pretty good. It has a nice citrus flavor, like it's some candied fruit. It doesn't taste like actually pineapple as I have mentioned in my rant, but there is something similar there. It's better than an orange or lemon soda. I will tell you that for free. That's right the cost of that knowledge will not come out of your tip. Now bring me another bottle, and a fresh napkin. I must clean off my pineapple monocle. Did you not notice that it was just a cored slice of pineapple with a lens shoved into it? No wonder you're a waiter and not the ambassador of Pineapple Pokopo.