Starbucks Frappuccino Hazelnut

Someday I will find a hazelnut and eat it. Will it taste like chocolate? Probably not. Will it taste like a nut? Probably. It will probably come in a shell that I cannot crack so I will end up putting it on the ground and stepping on it or hitting it with a rock like some sort of caveman. These actions will most defiantly crush the insides and I will have to climb a tree to get another one. Do they come from trees? Probably, right? I am hordiculturally an idiot.

Does this drink taste like Nutella? You know you're asking because anytime I read "hazelnut" I think of Nutella and why wouldn't I? It's a wonderful thing. So does it? Eh, not really. There is enough coffee taste in there that it's not like a liquefied spread. If you want to think of this as a mocha, you would be pretty much right. I might be able to tell the difference if I had them side by side but since I'm not made of money nor do I feel the need to drink two Frappuccinos back to back like some sort of ignorant college student who's cramming for an eight o'clock economics 101 final. For that reason I will say that this tastes like a chocolaty, caramelly, coffee drink that is very cold. It's like an adult Slurpee. Starbucks, if you want to use that internally, you can. All I ask is that you give me some sort of royalties. A drink a week? You can afford that. I can call the shots here. I'm in the driver seat and I know what I'm doing.