Aquadopa - 1 Review

So I'm out hanging out with these guys I met at a They Might Be Giants concert in `96. Back then we were just kids, but now they have grown into full blown scientists. I know, it's not very shocking that TMBG fans would become scientists. Anyway I ran into them at this bar and we're out for the night if you know what I mean. Oh you don't, I mean they took me under their wing and we hit the bar trivia circuit and we hit it hard. These guys were maniacs, going for the gold in every saloon we entered. Around 2am, I started to falter. It was a long day and I'm not used to being up that late. Suddenly one of the guys passes me this can under the table and says it's the science energy drink. It's made from herbs and it helps to improve focus, motivation and drive, not just jack you up and give you the jitters like that gas station junk. I guess they had secretly been downing them all night. He said for me to sneak off to the bathroom and down it in the stall; it would help me to concentrate on the trivia.

So I do as he says, and I have to tell you I think the guys might have been playing a joke on me. You see the only thing this drink helped me focus on was how gross it tasted. As soon as I popped the can the air was filled with what I can only describe as a sour coffee smell. Actually I can tell you that it smells exactly like someone spilled an entire iced coffee all over them and then went into Subway to clean it up. That weird non-bread bread smell and old gross coffee have no business mingling together, yet that is what I feel is happening in my nasal passage. I was disgusted and I hadn't even tasted it yet.

Once I finally managed to bring myself to drink it the old coffee flavor was definitely there, but unfortunately it wasn't alone. It brought along some friends. It tasted like what I imagined green tea soda from a gun at a bar would taste like; fake, watered down and syrupy all at the same time. Oh did I mention that the tea was very heavily flavored with ginseng? You know that root that tastes just like dirt? So we have all of that mixed together, and it might not have been all that terrible, but then hidden underneath it all was this weird fruity flavor that derailed any hope for a decent drink. Oh top off all that it was harsh on the throat.

I drank as much of the can as I could stand and then I realized that this night wasn't even fun. I just got swept up in the glamor of science, and why was I paying for all the drinks? I slam dunked the can in the trash and left by the back door. Remember as a rule, don't trust They Might Be Giants fans who only like the goofy educational songs.