Sugar - 840 Reviews

First of all, dudes at work don't know how I do. I invited six people to drink this and give me a review. I said, "Here's your chance to be on a famous website no different than if you were Caroline Rhea or Anthony Michael Hall." They laughed, threw tomatoes at me like this was the early 1900's. I didn't even know we had tomatoes in the office but there is some sort of secret closet that contains nothing but over-ripened tomatoes ready for the next bad joke or snake oil salesman. In this case, it was my attempt to make half a dozen dudes filthy rich like me. Your loss, turds. Your loss.

How's this? Well, it's fine. It tastes like chocolate milk. One said, "It tastes like hot cocoa. No. It tastes like Yoo-hoo." which I kind of agree with. If there is tea in this, and I'm not doubting there is, it is promptly and sufficiently overshadowed by sugar and chocolate. Is that the worst thing in the world? No. Is the fact that it is eight months past expiration date that really makes it? No. It isn't. It just tastes like chocolate milk. That's cool, right? Yes and no. I wanted a chocolate tea with Jasmine and Rooibos tea, as friggin' promised. I just got a white person's chocolate milk. We all know that white people are the worst, right? I mean, enjoy your mac and cheese, idiots.

To the six people that drank this that are not on my yacht, think twice next time I offer you something you can't read the label for that you saw three other people drink before you. It could be the thing that turns your life around. Now I'm sorry but I have to go put tanning oil on hot babes that aren't my wife. My wife is cool with it. She told me she was.

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As I tend to do, I spoke too soon.

Nick said:

I was approached by Mike with a nod and a wink, which of course either meant it was time for an afternoon tryst... or time to sample a new beverage. As I do require continued employment and HR frowns on at-work conjugal relations, it was fortunately the latter.

The beverage in question was a bottle which was decidedly not labeled for sale in America, fully decked out in Asian-language glyphs. OK, we have a potential mouth party, here. Strap in, taste buds.

I did see one English word: chocolate. Now, chocolate for me can be a multi-layer extravaganza of flavors, or a cloyingly sweet abomination of which Hershey's would be proud. The first sip showed this drink leaned more towards the latter. Primary flavor: sweet. Meh. There's also a texture that says to me there's some milk or other form of emulsified fat going on here. It's feels a little creamy.

What followed was a flavor I can describe as not-hot hot chocolate. Yeah, you know... the cup of hot chocolate you made to warm up after snow-blowing the GD driveway for the second time today, only to be drawn away by a wife request for something that clearly would have been less time for her to just do herself, and then later re-discover your room-temp cup, and then remembering as you drink it that room-temp hot chocolate is not nearly as good, and become lost in a downward spiral of negative emotions. Maybe that's just me, though. OK, I'm exaggerating. It's not bad. It's just not *good*. I wouldn't seek it out for this part. Thus far, we're not looking at a beverage I'd actively seek out again.

Ah - but the last, lingering hit of background tastes (and aftertaste). There's something going on here. Putting a finger on it is nigh impossible, between OMG SWEET and the milky texture and the mild cocoa. But there's... something. A complex of multiple things, very subtle. I'd later learn this was tea and hibiscus. It could have been turmeric and turpentine for all I could tell; they're so muted. But it *was* pleasant.
Is the little blend of almost missed flavors enough to make this a repeat drink?

Nah. I think it would have benefited from those secondary flavors being brought forward more.

I'm happy to have sampled it, and I enjoyed drinking what I had, but no, I wouldn't buy one. I'd probably have a hit if it was given to me. Especially if it was from Mike... with that wink and nod.

It's been a long time since I've drank anything with this much sugar in it. There is sugar, presumably cane sugar, and also honey which makes this peach oolong taste fantastic. Seriously, this was great. If it had half the sugar, it might be better. The honey adds more flavor than it did sweetness but man, this was good. The peach flavor was good. I might say that the sugar overpowered the child custody arm wrestling match against the oolong to the point where it was just a "tea base" instead of something truly distinguishable.

Would I get this again? I don't think so. I would recommend it with the caveat of, "If you like sweet tea, you will love this." but my palate doesn't really do so hot against drinks like this anymore. It doesn't hurt the review but it would count against me telling other people to get it. Seriously, though. If you like sweetened, flavored tea, get this. Get this and you'll never drink a Brisk raspberry again. I know peach and raspberries are different fruits but if you are looking to become a better person in society, this over that.

I don't know what type of Rockstar who would choose this nonsense as their “drink of choice,” energy related or not. It always blows my mind that energy drinks seem to be made mostly in flavors that would be of interest to mostly children. Is this like cigarette companies making their ads attractive to kids? I'm pretty sure it is. In 15-20 years I can only imagine there will be a crazy spike in the number of heart attacks due to organs being weakened over time from people constantly drinking these things.

You know those strawberry candies that come wrapped in foil/plastic that is supposed to look like a strawberry? This tastes like a watered down version of that with some skim milk in it for some reason. I know it says it's whipped, but that is still a little unnerving to me. It's like a liquid strawberries and cream that doesn't taste even remotely natural. I really chose poorly with this one.

Sometimes I like to go into drinks blind and see if what I anticipate is what the beverage actually is without reading the description or ingredients on the can/bottle. With a name like Pacific Punch and the sailor flash art on the can I fully expected this to be some play on a pina colada. That sort of art just makes me think rum, and while I know it's in other adult cocktails, I always think of the beverage made famous by an absolutely horrible song. I apparently purchased a one way trip to Wrongoville, because this is a wonderfully delicious tropical punch. It is a mix of orange, apple, raspberry, guava, cherry, pineapple and passionfruit. It's a collection of wonderful all mixed together into a sum of its parts that is greater than the individual. It is clearly the taste o f a tropical Pacific island (even though half the ingredients are not tropical at all). If this is what was available to me, I would not mind being stranded on a desert island at all. No humanity, just delicious fruit juice? Yes please!

This really reminds me of something from my younger years, but I'm not exactly sure what. I want to say one of the original Sobe flavors (maybe the yellow), but it could be something else. It's definitely something that I used to love though, and forgot that I was missing.

I've been reviewing a lot of coffee drinks lately. I haven't been reviewing much, truth be told, but I've been reviewing a lot of coffee drinks. I don't know why. Probably because I feel like all I do is work, come home, watch my dumb kids and then after they are in bed, just watch YouTube and go to sleep. It's been a repetitive couple weeks and trust me, I'm as bored of it as you are reading about it.

So how is this, you ask? Well, it's fine. It's got a decent but not great coffee taste. I'm no connoisseur but the coffee might be a bit dark or perhaps a little burnt for my liking. The chocolate is fine but it's strong. It might also be a little too sweet. I don't know if anyone who likes coffee would actually like this. I'm right in the middle so I'm fine with it but it's either "too this" or "too that" for anyone who has a solid opinion one way or the other.

I've got to get out of this rut...this coffee isn't helping. I think the next step is going to be a Buick, starched collar and a start to that suicide note I never thought I'd write.

When I saw this, my first thought was, “Is this just a repackaging of the Monster Java line?” After drinking it and doing a little bit of research I'm still not sure. Perhaps if I drank them back to back I could give you a more definitive answer, but as of now I can only say…€¦maybe? This is chocolatey and very creamy. There is actual more milk in here that I would want. While I can get behind a latte, recently I prefer my coffee based beverages without cream. The chocolate in here is really nice though. It tastes like chocolate and not just chocolate flavor. Overall this tastes more like a frothy chocolate milk with a splash of coffee in it, rather than the other way around. All of the energy drink aspects of this are not present in the flavor at all. There is no chemical or liquid candy flavor at all.

I'm going to assume this is different than the Java line, because I still saw those in the cooler, and why would the store stock both? Perhaps the difference is this uses Arabica coffee. Who knows? It's tasty and that's all that matters to me.

When there is a line of beverages comes out that is on the fancier side of things I get excited. I dust of my spat and polish up the old monocle in preparation for greatness. More often than not there is one flavor in said line that just doesn't live up the uniqueness of the others. For Teavana it is the mango black tea. I can be all uppity and say something along the lines of, “why don't they make a raspberry one while they are at it?” Mango has become a fairly commonplace flavoring of tea nowadays and it certainly does not like up to the expectations that one has for say a Passion Tango or a Pineapple berry Blue. I certainly wouldn't de-collapse my opera hat for such a peasant's beverage.

Yeah, all of the above is me being a pretentious buffoon. This tea is wonderful and it is incredibly far from being a tea that anyone would call common. The ingredients are listed as tea infusion, sugar, natural flavors and citric acid. Now most mango flavored teas use some sort of syrup that isn't actually derived from the fruit and it shows. This tastes like someone cut up a half dozen mangos and let their juicy sweetness just soak into the brewed tea. This tastes so much like actual mango that I am a bit dumbfounded that mango juice isn't an ingredient. Teavana you've won me over yet again. Keep them coming.

From Poland, to Knoxville, TN, and then all the way to Buffalo, NY this brand is quite a world traveler. The question is was all of that travelling worth it? I mean they are bringing that standard blend of energy drink flavor to the people with their original blend, but so are about fifty other companies, many doing it “locally.” To stand out Hype decided to switch things up and while they were doing so they slipping and smashed their dang face on the way down. This drink is definitely a misstep. It has that children's chewable vitamin flavor that most energy drinks have, but along with that they decided to mix the taste of children's aspirin as well as some adult vitamins. Perhaps that wouldn't have been so bad if it sat underneath a nice fruit punch flavor, but things got all mixed up and the fruit punch is the minor flavor in here and all the weirdness is so much stronger than it. It's like someone watered down Hawaiian Punch and then ground up a whole mess of vitamins and aspirin and mixed it in. It's not the best. Functionally it works great and I got the much needed energy I was looking for on an overnight drive, but I was really forcing myself to get through this can.

Have you ever tasted the liquid gold that is Starbucks Passion Tea? Are you like me and love ever second of it but something about buying it from them makes you feel dirty? Sure I probably buy a ton of stuff from much worse companies, but I grew up in a time when coffee shops weren't so sterile and we're actually pretty seedy a lot of the time. They were a haven for artists, musicians and junkies. I miss that. I blame Starbucks for the homogenization of them. I'm sure most people see that as a plus, not this guy.
Anyway, so I've bought the tea leaves myself to make it at home and then never comes out the same. It's tasty, but not nearly as delicious. This is hibiscus with cinnamon, apple, licorice root, and lemongrass. It's how I dream anything hibiscus should taste, yet few do. So here I am, brewing tea that never turns out as good, cursing my inability. Then Teavana releases these ready to drink versions. Sure they are sweetened (not too much) and I'd prefer them to be unsweetened, but I will take what I can get when it comes to this incredible spiced floral tea. Now I need to work on not downing the entire bottle so fast and learn to sip and not gulp.

It seems that Starbucks is easing back on advertising their Refresher line as “Natural energy from green coffee extract.” I mean it's still in there, but it's just not boldly proclaimed on the front of the can. Instead they are leaning on the coconut water and real fruit juice angle. Whatever they are pushing it is still the same product, well with coconut water added. I think the result is supposed to resemble a natural Gatorade for adults. It has the coconut water and juice to help rehydrate and refresh you, with the added bonus of caffeine to keep you moving. Then again there isn't such sodium in this so I'm probably totally off base. It's also carbonated, so yeah ignore that comparison. I should probably go back and just delete that part, but it looks like I'm going to just keep typing out my thoughts and forgo any professionalism. To reiterate Refreshers do not equal adult Gatorade. They always have seemed like kind of a hangover drink to me. I wonder what percentage of their sales are used for that purpose.

I suppose I should tough on the taste of this thing. It tastes like a lighter black cherry soda. Makes sense right. That's not a flavor I'm overly fond of, but lucky for me there is some lime in the aftertaste and that is something I can get behind. It is all improved through the use of real juice and not just some syrupy mix. I think it might be the coconut water that is making it taste lighter. It just smooths is out a little. Oh wait I just saw that salt is an ingredient so I'm back on the adult Gatorade kick. Nothing but staunch professionalism here.

This is the last baby can of coffee I've got to review. It half makes me sad but between you and I, I've got extra duplicates at home that I can enjoy whenever I want.

I don't know why I like this stuff so much. It's the same review as it always is; it's sweet but not too sweet. It's smooth because of the milk (powder). This did taste a little different but I wouldn't be able to explicitly say, "Oh, that's a Blue Mountain right there." It's got a great coffee taste and is not bitter at all. It's good, though. I don't know why we filthy American's don't embrace stuff like this. This is sweetened, canned coffee. We love coffee here. Embrace it, turds. You'll love it. Why do I call you turds? Because this is my website, not yours. This is my soapbox. You don't talk to the man on the soapbox because he's got something important to say. I mean, he brought that box to make a statement and he's going to do it.

Go to your local Asian market and get this. It's not hard to find. Buffalo is hardly a metropolis. If you are in an equal sized city, you've got a bunch of markets. Just walk in, grab a couple cans, pay for them, and sit in your car and cry because your wife left you for a younger man. Also, drink this.

This drink is just as overly sweet and weird as I thought it would be. Here's a rule you can go by; if a beverage this this bright of a green, it will more than likely be sweeter than you want it to be. The thing is that this really tastes like honey dew though. I mean it tastes like if you cut up a melon and dumped the same amount of sugar on it that your grandmother would dump on her morning grapefruit (or was that just mine?). The thing is that the melon flavor is artificial, yet it doesn't taste like candy as things like this tend to do. The basil seeds really do nothing. As far as I can tell they have no particular taste, and they tend to slip down your throat without you even realizing they exist.

I've been waiting patiently for a proper melon beverage to make its way to me (other than watermelon). This is a step in the right direction, but I really want straight up cantaloupe or honey dew juice. I guess I will just have to make do with this until my dreams come true.

I find it strange that while arguably being the largest coffee company in the US, Starbucks certainly seems to have a lot of ready to drink products that taste very little like coffee. I will admit that this has more of a coffee flavor than the vanilla Frappuccino, but any of their products that have milk in them seem to goa bit overboard with that particular ingredient. While I said the other beverage mentioned here tasted like a melted vanilla milkshake with a shot of coffee in it, this would be that with the number of shots doubled to a whopping two. It's like dessert in a can. I just wish it has a slightly less milky taste to it. I want more coffee in these drinks and less cow sustenance. At least it doesn't taste like someone mixed a Red Bull into a cup of coffee that would be Barf City, USA population me. It shares a lot of the same ingredients to give you a kick of energy, luckily it doesn't share a flavor. In this order this is milk, vanilla, and coffee. Switch that up a bit and this could have been a very, very pleasant beverage, instead of being a notch above serviceable.

So much Taiwanese coffee. I have been sharing the "wealth" and turning people on my team on to the Chin Chin's and the Mr. Brown's of the world. This is good. I don't drink cappuccino. Does it normally have chocolate in it? Is it coffee beans or espresso beans? Who cares? It was good. It was as smooth as you would want plus that little bit of chocolate turned it into a nice little dessert after lunch. Thirty Helens agree that this cappuccino is worth the $0.79 I paid for it. I would have been able to drink the whole can but you know what? Share it with a friend. It's 9.1 ounces. It is fine, even if it is sweet. Hence, split the difference and make your friend happy. He just had to listen to you talk about your dumb kids for like fifteen minutes. The least you can do is offer him $0.395 worth of cappuccino. Plus, even in this day and age, saying that you will share cappuccino makes you sound like a real fancy pants. Tell your country mom and dad that you bought someone a cappuccino and you will impress them more than when you just barely passed high school and got a solid 2.3 GPA in college. Let's face it, if you were truly bound to do great things, you wouldn't need to impress them with phrases like "I bought my roommate a cappuccino." and "I just got promoted to assistant manager at the candle store, daddy."

Mr. Brown. What's wrong? Why are you sweating? Come into my office. I heard you yelling at my receptionist. What's going on? There was a murder? What happened? A stabbing? Mr. Brown. That's a very intimate way to murder a man. I'm pretty sure the last time we spoke I told you not to murder someone, didn't I? That's what did it? I put the idea in your head? Don't put this on me, Mr. Brown. You are the one that stabbed someone. How many times? Seventy two times? Who was it? Your gardener? What did he do? Trim your topiary incorrectly? He formed it into a what? A wiener?! Mr. Brown, that's no reason to stab a guy six dozen times. Well I don't know what type of service I can offer you but...oh...you know what? Good thing you came in here. I wanted to talk to you about something. What? Yes, I think those are police cars. Hey I wanted to tell you that I tried this Macadamia Nut iced coffee and it's some of your best work. Sure you can lock the door. Take a seat, Mr. Brown. You're making me nervous. I'm trying to tell you that I really liked this iced coffee. It's smooth, like I would expect anything else from you but the nuttiness is very prevalent and enjoyable. I would never tell you to change your cans or serving sizes but it was hard not to open another one. I know what's right for me and if I have a second can of your coffee, I'd be bouncing off the walls much like you are doing. Why are you so nervous? Oh, right, the stabbing. You can try to jump out the window but we're on the second floor. You have a nice suit on. It would be a shame if you scuffed it up when you hit the ground. You think you can do it? You're really going to have to tuck and roll to pull this off, Mr. Brown. You're going to do it? Well don't let me get in the way. I'll actually help you out with the window as the latch is a bit tricky. Well if you don't get caught are we still on for Saturday at the golf course? Alright. Oh, you have a plus one? Your other gardener? Is he a good golfer? Better than me? Mr. Brown, you're as good a comic as you are a murderer. Have a good one. I'll talk to you soon if you don't get in trouble. I think they're knocking down my office doors. Remember to bend at the knees. Take care, Mr. Brown.

Something about this coffee takes me back in time, to a time that I never knew. The sunny 1970's. With every sip I feel my hair get greasier and my pants get wider. I feel the shag in the carpet get shaggier and all of a sudden all the walls have mirrors on them.

This coffee is sweet coffee with cream in it. Deal with it. Want black coffee? Get the hell out of my house. Get the hell out of my wood paneled house that all of a sudden plays nothing but Abba songs. It's not too sweet and neither the sugar nor the cream detracts from a decent coffee. I think some might think that it's too sweet but it's not going to put air holes in me ol' chompers. Is it going to win any awards? Probably not but I'm not going to turn it down when offered. Who is offering me Taiwanese coffee drinks in indestructible steel cans? No one. I need to find new friends.

You absolutely know what you are getting yourself into when you grab one of these. If there was any question as to whether this was going to taste exactly like grape soda with melted candy in it, that goes out the window when you crack it open and that unmistakable scent floats up your nostrils. So the magic is not in the taste but in the calorie content. How is it that a 16oz can can (not the dance) contain 48g or sugar when it is sweetened with sucralose as well as sugar? What is the point of the sucralose at that point other than to distract from the grape sludge taste when it's starting to warm up and you're getting to the bottom third of the can? This is an odd product because it certainly feels like it would be enjoyed by children, but please don't feed this stuff to kids. They are annoying enough as it is and I don't need to deal with the mall hopped up on Grape Death (street name).

Get the hell out of the way! The new, limited edition Gatorade's are here! What? What do you mean they're nothing special? What do you mean they just taste like regular Gatorade? What do you mean my fly is down? Man, why am I running then? When they say "Limited Edition" I feel the urgency in my bones and have to get it before it's too late. I guess they wouldn't take it away in less than a day so we can walk together. I'll buy you one.

So what do you think? Here's what I think and I'm not happy to say so. It just tastes like the same old Gatorade that's always existed. If they call it "Flow Smooth Finish," which is perhaps the most difficult phrase I've ever said, I might give them the benefit of the doubt and say that it might be smoother. Was I asking for a smoother Gatorade? No, but I suppose that it's always welcome. Why wouldn't you want the smoothest possible drink? Seems luxurious. As far as flavor goes, I know what a watermelon tastes like and this tastes like a candy watermelon just not as sweet. Maybe it falls between difference between a real watermelon and a fake watermelon. It's not bad and I am having no problem crushing this whole bottle.

When it's gone, it's gone. By the time it leaves, I'm sure there will be several other limited edition Gatorade's that come and go. It's not like they're hard to find. They sell them everywhere. We will watch the tides of Gatorade change like the seasons. Like toxic, watermelon and fruit punch flavored waves which shall bring upon the inevitable death of all mankind and organic life.

Mr. Brown, it's so nice of you to return. It's been a while. How long has it been, old friend? Since 2013? Well it has been too long. Please, take a seat. What have you got for us today? Vanilla iced coffee? Well why don't you pour us a couple glasses and we'll get down to business.

This is nice. I see you haven't lost your edge in this game. This is good. It's the same great coffee taste with the smoothness of some vanilla. I'm surprised you hadn't thought of this earlier. Just the right amount of sugar to have to be drinkable and still using those indestructible, adorable cans, I see. Mr. Brown. You've done it again. I don't know how you do it, but you've got quite the empire on your hands.

Thank you for stopping by and giving me a sneak peek at this new little number. I'm sure it will do very well for you, as the rest of your little drinks do. Get home safely and please, Mr. Brown, try not to murder anyone on the way home, alright, friend? I'll talk to you soon.

It's not often that we find "regular" drinks on the shelves everywhere but today I found this while buying a seasonal corned beef sandwich. I was surprised when we hadn't reviewed it because both Jay and I enjoy a nice can of San P when given the opportunity. It's more calories than we like but they're good so we like it. How did this far? Well it fared well because sitting next to me is an empty can. It's very fruity and all of the orange and pomegranate juice comes through nicely. It's not overly sweet or fruity. It hits you right in the sweet spot. If you gave this to a scientist and said, "Dr. Scientist? Why are there so many calories in this juice?" They would probably say something like, "You mispronounce my name. It's 'Craig' and it's because there are a lot of calories in fruit and you know…€¦.sugar."

So fruit has calories. Calories are displayed as "joules" in the UK, right? That's cooler. American's hate calories. Joules sound way cooler. We should switch. Let's take the metric system while we're at it. Oh, and get rid of daylight savings time. Just rip those bandages right off all at once. Be on the right side of history, friends.