Hype - 6 Reviews

From Poland, to Knoxville, TN, and then all the way to Buffalo, NY this brand is quite a world traveler. The question is was all of that travelling worth it? I mean they are bringing that standard blend of energy drink flavor to the people with their original blend, but so are about fifty other companies, many doing it “locally.” To stand out Hype decided to switch things up and while they were doing so they slipping and smashed their dang face on the way down. This drink is definitely a misstep. It has that children's chewable vitamin flavor that most energy drinks have, but along with that they decided to mix the taste of children's aspirin as well as some adult vitamins. Perhaps that wouldn't have been so bad if it sat underneath a nice fruit punch flavor, but things got all mixed up and the fruit punch is the minor flavor in here and all the weirdness is so much stronger than it. It's like someone watered down Hawaiian Punch and then ground up a whole mess of vitamins and aspirin and mixed it in. It's not the best. Functionally it works great and I got the much needed energy I was looking for on an overnight drive, but I was really forcing myself to get through this can.

What does MFP stand for? Major Focused Power? Majestic Forest Provider? Metallica Forever Peeps? Ohh Ohh, maybe it's Milk for President. All of the above are wrong. After some internet searching it came out that it actually means Money From Patience, wait no that's not it either. It's really “Most Full Power.” Seeing as it's originally from the Netherlands and this is made in Poland I will chalk that up to a poor translation, though my times I've spend in both countries the English people spoke was not broken at all. The name isn't all that exciting, but the cryptic MFP with no explanation on the can gets the desired effect.

Names aside the flavor of this is what is to be expected from a diet energy drink. It tastes like liquid candy that had all its sugar replaced with a zero calorie substitution. It's nothing new, it's nothing exciting, but it gets the job done. Normally it's hard for me to drink a full diet beverage, but the base flavor of energy drinks is either strong to enough to mask, or blends in with the sucralose garbage flavor and it makes it palatable. So it's got that going for it.

What we have here is a better tasting than most diet energy drinks. I would say that it is actually borderline diet. It still has regular sugar in it, but it's not as much as the regular version. Replacing it is some sucralose, but the mixture of the sweeteners doesn't give it the diet death taste. It's still sweet and candy like, as your typical energy drinks are, with just a hint of a diet flavor to it. There is nothing particularly surprising about this. It tastes like an energy drink, but just a little bit better than other diet ones I have had.

ps. The pink can is a little bit too obvious for a diet drink. Come on Hype, you have to have a better marketing team than that.

The text, much like the whippets at the Gathering of the Juggalos, don't stop. Non-stop text on this can. You want some ingredients? What languages don't you speak? This can't got 'em all, son. That's just number one right off the bat. I'm not penalizing Hype for it, just pointing it out. Oh, see that can with all the text on it? Yeah, don't worry about reading it. It's an energy drink.

Taste: Not terrible. I like it more than Red Bull. It's an energy drink so you know the overall flavor. This has a bit more, dare I say, "fruit." They have an organic version that Jay reviewed that might allow fruit not to be in quotes. I went to lunch and came back and took another sip and it was pretty vile. I'm not penalizing them for that, either. It wasn't refrigerated so that was on me. That's a free poisoning from me to you, Hype.

Honestly, I didn't hate it. If hype men like Flava Flav, Dapwell from Das Racist, or Bushwick Bill pushed this drink on me, I would say, "Gentlemen. No need to yell. I'm on board. Stop drinking this energy drink and maybe sit down with some tea. You need to relax. No, Dap, that was not a pun on your group's fantastic major label release."

In 1998 Public Enemy released the album “It Takes a Nation of a Million to Hold Us Back.” In the lyrics of the second single from the album Chuck D very emphatically tells to listeners not to believe the hype. Very wise words from a wise man. Listen to Chuck because he knows what he's talking about when it comes to socio-political topics and those same sentiments can also be used when reviewing energy drinks. Hype Organic was great, this one, not so much. It has a traditional energy drink flavor (aka Red Bull/every generic energy drink ever), but it has less candy flavor and more “energy flavor.” It makes sense because it is their maximum energy blend. I could have used more on the flavor side of things, but if I had to trade off some flavor for an energy drink that works well, I can handle that.

Hype will probably focus on some particular lines from the previously mentioned Public Enemy song: “All the critics you can hang'em, I'll hold the rope.” Lucky for me they are in the Netherlands.

Being a Hype Man is no easy job, but what can you do? I was born a Hype Man and I'll die a Hype Man. My mother tells me she met my father at a concert in the 80s. When I was younger she always led me to believe that my father was Grandmaster Flash, but years later it came out that while she was aiming for The Flash, she settled for Creole, the original Hype Man. Once I learned the true identity of my dad I became obsessed with becoming a Hype Man myself. I went so far as to pitch a reality show to VH1 that would star Flavor Flav, just so I could get a chance to meet him and ask him to mentor me. Needless to say, it worked. I spent years learning the tricks of the trade from “the clocked one.”

Finally after two decades of grueling dedication I am the prime Hype Man for a rapper. For legal reasons I can't divulge whom in fact I'm hyping until I make my stage debut, but you would be shocked and awed. We've run through the routine a million times, but I still get nervous. When I called Flav for some words of encouragement he hipped me to this drink. It really is shocking that for how he is obsessed with organic food, even though he put just about every drug into his system. He won't even drink a Red Bull now. He claims this drink gives Hype Men the energy they need in a healthier way and it tastes rather unique. I have to agree with him. It tastes like someone liquefied a whole mess of Double Bubble Gum and mixed it with some apple juice (and a little bit of that energy drink flavor). It may sound gross, but it's actually quite delicious. If this was the first energy drink I ever tried I would probably initially think it was gross, but being well versed in the flavor this is a great change of pace. It doesn't taste very chemical, and when it's ice cold it's a nice shock to your taste buds. Best of all is it doesn't have that chemical energy drinkness to it.

The crowd is getting restless. They need me. Me! I must go out and pump them up and add my little exclamations and interjections to my boss's raps. The world isn't ready for me with the little extra Hype I got from this energy drink.