Netherlands - 11 Reviews

Do you think this product was named before or after Prince passed away? Not that it really matters, I just find myself curious about marketing strategies. I will choose to believe that whether it happened pre or post, it was meant as a tribute to the greatness that is the 1984 album/movie. I can picture a juicer in a room draped with purple velvet yelling along with Darling Nikki while squeezing the juice from a variety of produce, or you know to a lesser extent humming Computer Blue while mixing concentrates (which compose this juice).

I mean I know beets are more maroon that purple, but I get where they are going with this. Do you think Prince would only drink grape and beet juice to keep up with his image? I'll choose to believe, yes.

This tastes like an apple-grape juice that has a bit of beet mixed in. I could use it to be a little more beety and taste more like earth. Yes, that is what I want from juice, an earthy flavor. I know it's not for everyone, but it's for me. Even without the dirt taste this is still great. It gets a little sweet, so I'm not able to drink more than a small glass at a time, but who needs to drink more than that anyway?

Children, come and join me. Sit around ye old fountain soda machine as I tell you a tale of woe and wonder. It all began last week when I received a note adhesed to my front door. Now this was no ordinary note, it was instructing me to head to my local postal office after 8am the following day in order to pick up a package. I was intrigued as I had no idea what could possibly be in said box. I assumed it was drinks, but what kind of magic elixir would it contain? Images of teas and fancy sodas danced the tango in my head all night long. It was quite a vision.

The next afternoon after completing my days work on the farm (printing shirts in the basement) I hopped upon my steed (behind the wheel of my car) and headed to my destiny. Upon arrival the building was void of customers and I made quick work of making my way to a clerk. I handed her the note that was on my door and she gave me a strange look as she asked for identification. Having left my official Thirsty Dudes badge back at the home front I presented her with my drivers license, which had an old address on it. Since the addresses did not match I was given a difficult time. I assured her that the package was for me. I showed her how the names matched, and I presented a health insurance card with the correct address listed. That is when the questions started: What was in the box? Why was it so heavy? Did I know there were shipping regulations? I told her that I had no idea what was in the box, and did an embarrassing explanation of what this site was all about. Explaining to an annoyed woman who is entering her twilight that you run a website that reviews non-alcoholic beverages makes you look like a bit of a maniac.

After a longer time than I would like to admit of trying to convince the clerk that I was who I said I was, that the package was for me and that I was not 100% sure what was in the package, the box was brought out from the back. It was completely covered in orange tape and as it was laid before me I noticed that its place of origin was Amsterdam. I know understood all of the hesitation and questioning; this woman thought I was getting marijuana shipped to me. Without thinking about it I let out a big “Oooohhhhhhh, you thought this was weed. I assure you it is not,” as if my word was all she needed, because you know drug dealers/buyers never lie.

I quickly took my leave of the post office made my way to my car and tore into the packaging with my pocketknife. Inside the box were not packages of Europe's finest “dank nugs,” instead it was filled with cans of Cannabis Energy Drink. I sat. I laughed. I pondered what I would do if there was in fact weed in the box. I then drove home, took some pictures and put a couple of cans in the fridge for later consumption.

Let me tell you boys and girls, it took me longer than I expected to actually drink a can. I had no reason to be up all night until yesterday. I popped a top, took a swig and said goodbye to a good night's sleep. I had expected my mouth to be filled with a fluid that tasted like iced tea filtered through rope; heavy on the rope with a touch of lemon, as that is what other hemp drinks I have had tasted like. Unfortunately, I got no rope. What I did get was a beverage that tasted very similar to the fruity generic classic energy drink flavor (is Red Bull). It's a flavor that I have come to love, so it wasn't necessarily a bad thing, I just hoped for something more from Cannabis, as it had such potential. There is hemp seed extract in the beverage, but it's not very apparent in the taste, not that I really know what it tastes like, but all I get is Red Bull, so I don't think there's really much there.

I will tell you that even though I tried to sleep more, I only got about 3 hours of sleep the night I drank this, so the energy aspect of it surely works, and my body hates them for how well it actually did. Now children I hope you don't have nightmares from this tale, but if you come and see me I will give you lighters and shirts that were also in the box from the Netherlands.

Thirsty Dudes' friend Diana and her sister have a serious problem. It's to such an extent that I am looking into getting them on Intervention. No, they are not alcoholics, nor are they popping pills. They aren't even hysterically inhaling computer cleaner. Their addiction is something so much more sinister. The Vito sisters are addicted to the Dutch food, toast sprinkles.

“Like junkies waiting for their sweet, sweet fix” these two sisters will drive up to St Catharines, ON in order to fill up their tiny hatchback with box upon box of little chocolate sprinkles to put on their buttered toast. It is truly a sickness that needs professional attention, and perhaps a television spot.

I suppose we did benefit from their addiction as on a recent trip Diana brought me back this bottle of juice/lemonade concentrate. Let me rephrase that, “this enormous bottle of juice/lemonade concentrate.” Seriously it would take me years to get through this bottle as you add a tablespoon of concentrate to a glass of water. It is a mixture of apple, strawberry, elderberry and rosehip concentrate. It tastes like what I always hope fruit punch tastes like before I take a sip. This is 75% fruit, which is more than can be said about most fruit punch. It mostly just tastes like a mixture of strawberries and elderflower, which is a recipe for greatness. I mixed it with normal water, but I think if it were added to sparkling water, I would be in for a real treat.

Now back to pestering the folks at intervention, so I can make one of my friends day and embarrass the other a great amount.

What we have here is a better tasting than most diet energy drinks. I would say that it is actually borderline diet. It still has regular sugar in it, but it's not as much as the regular version. Replacing it is some sucralose, but the mixture of the sweeteners doesn't give it the diet death taste. It's still sweet and candy like, as your typical energy drinks are, with just a hint of a diet flavor to it. There is nothing particularly surprising about this. It tastes like an energy drink, but just a little bit better than other diet ones I have had.

ps. The pink can is a little bit too obvious for a diet drink. Come on Hype, you have to have a better marketing team than that.

The text, much like the whippets at the Gathering of the Juggalos, don't stop. Non-stop text on this can. You want some ingredients? What languages don't you speak? This can't got 'em all, son. That's just number one right off the bat. I'm not penalizing Hype for it, just pointing it out. Oh, see that can with all the text on it? Yeah, don't worry about reading it. It's an energy drink.

Taste: Not terrible. I like it more than Red Bull. It's an energy drink so you know the overall flavor. This has a bit more, dare I say, "fruit." They have an organic version that Jay reviewed that might allow fruit not to be in quotes. I went to lunch and came back and took another sip and it was pretty vile. I'm not penalizing them for that, either. It wasn't refrigerated so that was on me. That's a free poisoning from me to you, Hype.

Honestly, I didn't hate it. If hype men like Flava Flav, Dapwell from Das Racist, or Bushwick Bill pushed this drink on me, I would say, "Gentlemen. No need to yell. I'm on board. Stop drinking this energy drink and maybe sit down with some tea. You need to relax. No, Dap, that was not a pun on your group's fantastic major label release."

In 1998 Public Enemy released the album “It Takes a Nation of a Million to Hold Us Back.” In the lyrics of the second single from the album Chuck D very emphatically tells to listeners not to believe the hype. Very wise words from a wise man. Listen to Chuck because he knows what he's talking about when it comes to socio-political topics and those same sentiments can also be used when reviewing energy drinks. Hype Organic was great, this one, not so much. It has a traditional energy drink flavor (aka Red Bull/every generic energy drink ever), but it has less candy flavor and more “energy flavor.” It makes sense because it is their maximum energy blend. I could have used more on the flavor side of things, but if I had to trade off some flavor for an energy drink that works well, I can handle that.

Hype will probably focus on some particular lines from the previously mentioned Public Enemy song: “All the critics you can hang'em, I'll hold the rope.” Lucky for me they are in the Netherlands.

Dear Europe, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your "soda pops." I know a lot of Americans probably wouldn't like them, but to me that are what I want most of the time when I am hankering for a soda. While the American version of soda is thick, syrupy and overly sweet, you take things ta-other way. Yours are light and nice and bubbly. You understand that drinks don't need to drenched in sweetener to be enjoyable. Most of the time your sodas are closer to sparkling juice than American soda.

This is the lightest orange soda I've ever tasted. It also has actual orange juice in it, which is a major plus. It's not insanely orange juice tasting like Orangina, but it's in that vein. In a blind taste test I could tell you this was a European soda. It tastes somehow fresh. This has been the worst explanation of a soda ever, but that's what you get. Oggu has done it right, yet again.

We were privileged to be given an advance taste of this drink. Apparently Europe has not allowed companies to have drinks on the market with stevia in them yet so they sent us a bottle of it without the label. This is the same Oggu 100% Organic Cola we have already reviewed, but sweetened with stevia. I loved the original so I was excited to try this low calorie version.

My thoughts are as follows: it's good, but not as good as the original version. It has the same complexity as the one sweetened with cane sugar, which is great. The stevia is throwing me off though. It's not as bad as most diet drinks, but I've definitely had ones that mask the stevia taste better. If Oggu is trying to be a competitor to drinks like diet coke and diet Pepsi, they will win hands down! But, this isn't as good as the cane sugar version of their delicious cola.

You know, this is a good cola. It's good because I've spent the last twenty years drinking "common" colas. The Netherlands have stepped it up a notch and have released this 100% organic cola and although other companies have done it, this tastes different. Coloring is done by organic caramel and there is natural citrus for bonus flavoring. Who doesn't want anything bonus in life? I know who does and thinks you do; the Dutch. Them and their wooden shoes, which according to a recent episode of Globetrekkers, they still make and wear. No, not everyone, but some. The citrus adds a nice touch and you can tell in every sip that it's there. It's welcome, too.

One thing is that they have gone to the nines with greenness and organics and have used about as little plastic on the bottle as possible, leaving in your hand, a dangerous and almost inevitable spilling container if you're not careful. It really likes to give, like those new water bottles, which, in itself, even the best water bottle is terrible for the environment since you can get water everywhere. So, if you want a great, natural tasting cola that, for some reason, they call "sparkling cola" when it is just pop, and you enjoy change in your classics, and have great control of your hands, this is the drink for you.

Every time I read Oggu I instantly think of the commercials for Boku juice from the 90's with Richard Lewis in them. Those commercials were ridiculous and terrible. He seriously says Boku eight thousand times in each commercial and it's a ridiculous word to be said once, let alone more than twenty times in a minute. Now that I think about it he really didn't do much other than those commercials and terrible stand up. Oh the 90's when the bar was set so low for comedians.

This is a soda, not a juice like Boku. It is also not sub par like Richard Lewis. It is one of the better lemon & lime sodas I've had. It has actual juice in it and it's also not nearly as sweet as most of it's counterparts. That is a great thing about European sodas; they don't feel the need to over-sweeten them. Which I definitely appreciate. This drink is actually good enough that it doesn't need a stand up comic, humorous or not, to sell it. It's flavor sells itself.

Now I just have to remember what show made fun of those commercials. I think it may have been Wayne's World. I'm actually pretty sure of it. If you can confirm that, please do.

Yeah, it's just chocolate milk, mom. You don't understand what it's like. Do you know what it is like to be 13? It's hard. You've got girls and homework. Well...yeah, you might have had girls and homework, too. And you had to ride in cars without seat belts? Well whatever, mom. It's 2011 and everything is harder. This chocolate milk isn't even from here. It's from the Netherlands. I don't even know what it is. It's illegal to have in this country. Oh, you just can't sell it here, but it's fine if it comes in? Well, check it out. Glass bottle. Oh, everything you had was in a glass bottle? You must have had it rough? Do you want to share this Chocomel? It's pretty good. It's like a real Nesquik. It's not as creamy but tastes more natural. You know what? I know I'm all grown up at 13, but you're pretty cool, even if you do drive a minivan. Oh, you had to sell your motorcycle when you had me? Sorry, man, you're tough.