Califia Farms - 4 Reviews

This very obviously has an almond milk base. In fact it appears to be more than just a base; it makes up the bulk of the taste. Got a matcha this has a very minimal green tea flavor. It really needs to be much, much stronger. It tastes like they took half a shot glass of green tea, poured it into a gallon jug and filled the rest with almond milk. Well, maybe it's not that extreme, but it's not anywhere near where I want it to be. It's nice and creamy, but without the proper green tea taste, what's the point?

At our show in Atlanta I went on an adventure with fellow soda enthusiast/bassist Dakota Floyd to find the elusive Brood Soda. We walked about a mile through somewhat rain to get to the store only to find that they no longer carry it. Luckily it wasn't a complete bust and I stumbled upon this beverage. I was bummed that they didn't have Brood, and I wasn't even looking forward to this, but was it ever a treat. It ended up being the best thing I have drank in quite some time.

This is a watermelon agua fresca that actually tastes like watermelon and not a gross fake candy. It's really smooth, but the flavor is so perfect and specific that it tricks my mouth into thinking that I can make out the texture of perfectly wipe watermelon (aka the only time that this specific fruit it truly great). The ginger and lime are there, but not as strong and merely serve to make the watermelon shine more brightly. The lime gets stronger in the aftertaste, but it never overpowers the melon. This is the perfect beverage for hot humid weather. Califia Farms has transitioned from coffee drinks into wonderful juice.

Sometimes you come across a beverage that sounds delicious, but you know it's not the proper time to drink it. So you store it away in your fridge until you feel the time is right. When you know the time has finally come, perhaps you want to have some buttered apple toast before you start into the drink. If that time ever comes in your life, take extra care when taking the butter out of the fridge, or you may just knock the bottle of the beverage you've been waiting for and it will explode all over the floor. If you are lucky then the drink you had been so patient about will be a bottle of Califa Farms Mocha Mexica Cold Brew Coffee. The reason you would be lucky is that even though you will have quite the mess on your hands your kitchen will be filled with the wonderful aroma of coffee, chocolate and cinnamon.

My annoyance level was through the roof when this spilled everywhere, but I was able to save about 1/3 of the bottle, and that little bit that I was able to drink made the entire ordeal worth it (well maybe not). It's no secret that I am not a big coffee fan, but when you do it Mexican style with chocolate, cinnamon and chili in it; it's an entirely different story. This is a drink and a half. It's more like chocolate almond milk with coffee and spices added than a coffee drink, but that's probably why I like it so much. It's very smooth with just the right amount of heat from the spices. I've had good Mexican chocolate and I've had bad Mexican chocolate and this, if it were in bar form would be the best of them all.

Now that I've enjoyed what little beverage did not end up on my kitchen floor, I should go clean again to make sure I got it all. No one wants ants.

Jerry, I know you want everything but you can't have it. You're turning into a spoiled brat and we don't want to start you off on the wrong path. We want you to be a good kid. You don't see me getting everything I want. If I got everything I wanted, I wouldn't feel like I had to work for everything or work so hard. I learned early off that it was important to not want as much. It was important to set goals that I had to work for. Hard work pays off and if you get everything you want you will get lazy and dependent. I want you to be able to take care of yourself and if your mom and dad give you everything you want, you will just assume that you will always get everything you want and we can't have that. I am putting my foot down on this and I am saying that you cannot get what you want this time. I wish I could get what I wanted. Hold on your father is coming.

What's that honey? Oh, thank you. What is this? Iced coffee? Oh, thank you. Oh, it's almond milk, too. That's good; it will keep the calories down. Your father knows that I am on a diet. What else is in this? Oh, dark chocolate. Huh? This...this is everything I would want in a drink. Hold on a second Jerry. I want to try this. Oh. Oh wow. It's pretty good. It tastes like coffee; like it should but it also taste like there is some bitter dark chocolate in there. I can taste the almond milk, too. Wow. This is great. This is everything I would like in a drink. Thank you honey.

Now Jerry, what was I saying? You can't have everything you want but since your dad gave me everything I wanted right here in this one drink, I guess it will be alright for you to have this one thing this once. Don't let it get to your head and don't think that you can have everything now. Just this one thing. No one likes a brat.