Coco Libre - 7 Reviews

Take everything you know about protein drinks and throw it right out the window. Now just concentrate on what you know about chocolate milk, and make it a little creamier. That's what you have right here. The protein that is added to normal drinks of this variety, generally make them thicker and a lot of the time gritty. It's adding dairy onto dairy and the results can be a bit much. With this product the base is the thinner coconut water, so adding the milk protein gives puts it in the ballpark of regular milk, but creamier as I said. The Dutch cocoa powder that they add is great. If this were called a chocolate milk I might claim it to be the best I've ever tasted. Since it's not I will say that it is quite a tasty protein drink that goes down nice and smooth.

Ladies and Gentleman, I have an invention that will revolutionize the beverage world. I call it the De-Gritifyer. No longer will the world be plagued by protein drinks that have that weird sandy texture to them. With my invention it will be nothing but smooth sailing, and yes all puns intended.

Why no sir I am not living in the 90s. Why would you ask such a thing? Wait, what do you mean that there have been smooth protein drinks on the market for years. That simply cannot be true. Fine I will try your beverage even though I saw you drink directly from the carton and you clearly have a cold. You know that is disgusting, right? Damnit! This is smooth! However did they achieve this before I could? I've spent the last decade in a lab working on the perfect formula. What did they use? Coconut water, milk protein concentrate and acacia gum? I can't believe I didn't think of that. On top of everything it also tastes delicious. The vanilla is great and it overpowers the erythritol and stevia. This is far superior to every protein drink I ever tasted when I started my work.

This is devastating to me. I wasted ten years of my life to create a product that is inferior to this. It looks like I should just go back to my old job as a dog groomer. Do any of you have a pooch that needs tending?

I just don't know what happened here. There are only two ingredients that make up this beverage and one of them is Coco Libre's original coconut water, which is delicious. The other is simply organic pineapple juice from concentrate. Now I just can't see how pineapple juice could be bad. I've drunk it in all its forms and consistencies and I have been a fan of each and every one of them. For some reason though, when they were combined something went awry.

Now the pina colada is a well known drink that people all over the place love. I myself have been known to be a fan. If it weren't for this knowledge that I possess I would assume that the problem with this drink was that pineapples and coconuts were simply not meant to mix. Science has proved that an inaccurate statement, so what went wrong?

The pineapple doesn't really taste like pineapple in here. It has a sweet, fruity flavor, but it's not quite pineapple. Also, the coconut has a weird oats and grains type aftertaste that I would assume has something to do with the shell. Overall it wasn't enjoyable, nor refreshing. It just tasted like something was starting to spoil in the drink, even though it was well in the expiration time frame. Something is afoot in the world of paradise drinks.

I certainly do not know how they do it. Coco Libre has produced one of the freshest tasting prepackaged coconut water I have ever had the pleasure of drinking, and it's made from concentrate. How is it possible that I have had dozens of different brands of this same product that are just straight up coconut water, and they don't taste nearly as good/fresh as this. There is nothing added here, it's just reconstituted (is that the right word?) coconut water. I have become a big fan of this, and will happily drink the case of it that I ganked from the “green room” of a show I worked the other day. I've come a long way from despising everything coconut to happily drinking bottle after bottle of this stuff.

Of the things I don't understand in life one of the big ones in the realm of family matters is why my father has a Kokopelli tattoo. I have no idea why in his late forties he decided to get a tattoo of a fertility deity. I know it also representative of agriculture, but my father is not a farmer, and I have never known him to tend even a houseplant. He also represents the spirit of music, but my father isn't a big music guy either. The tattoo is just one of the mysteries of the universe. I mean I could ask him why he got it, but that would take the fun out of it, and then he might talk to me about my tattoos, and who wants to explain to their parents why they have a llama and an ostrich dressed as Batman and Robin tattooed on them. I'll keep the mystery in all of our lives.

I'm also left wondering why Coco Libre uses a Kokopelli on their bottles as well. He is a symbol embraced by the Native American tribes of the southwest. They are located in Palo Alto (northern California) and neither coconuts nor chia; the two main ingredients in the company's products are native to that area of the country. The deity's presence is as puzzling on this bottle as he is on my father's skin.

Their choice of mascot aside, this is a nice little beverage. As far as I know Coco Libre is the only company out there combining coconut water and chia seeds, to which I give them a tip of my hat. I am a fan of chia seeds in drinks, as I enjoy a beverage with some texture to it. I have also been fully converted and love coconut water. The added flavor is very strong in this. 26% of this is concentrated fruit juice, and that is a high percentage seeing as the seeds take up most of the bottle. They also put out unusual flavors for coconut water. This leaves me wishing I had cherry coconut water available to me. I like cherries, and I love cherry drinks, well as long as they don't taste like cough syrup, which this doesn't at all.

Let's play a variation of the classic Easter game guess how many jelly beans are in the jar to win a big stuffed bunny. This time we're dealing with neither beans, nor jelly. Well, I guess there is a little jelly coating these seeds we're counting. Yes, you guessed correctly; today's game is guess how many chia seeds are in this bottle of CoCo Libre. There are certainly hundreds, possibly even thousands (but not very likely).

There are a handful of brands that have been making beverages with chia seeds in them, as they are rich in omegas and other junk that make them healthy. They also help to curb your appetite. So while this is nothing new in that regard this is the first company I know of to add them to coconut water. Even though I was greeted with a mouth full of dozens of tiny slimy seeds, my first thought was, “Why have I never come across strawberry kiwi coconut water before?” Seriously, with all of the flavors on the market, I never thought of this one, and it works. The base of this drink is coconut water that I wouldn't mind drinking on its own. Yes there is agave added to it for sweetener, which I wouldn't need in its non-seeded form, but yeah…€¦I want that.

So you probably want me to mention more about the seeds, huh? Well I don't think they have much of a flavor, but they are slippery and provide enjoyment for your mouth. I do not suggest chewing them. Actually try to chew them as much as you want. Their slimy coating makes them slip around your teeth and it takes quite an effort to actually bite into them. I just prefer to swish them around my mouth and then swallow.

I did mention a prize, didn't I? Well whoever guesses the correct amount of seeds, gets a life sized chia llama. Actually screw that. I'm keeping it for myself.

Why don't you go ahead and make yourself a milkshake? Dump some vanilla ice cream in your blender. Then instead of adding cow milk, add some almond milk. You know what you had a nice workout at the gym, why not add a scoop of whey protein to the mix. Blend it up nice and smooth. Oh crap, you forgot to let the dog out. You better do that before he has another accident on the new carpet. Oh you're dog will only go toity if you walk him on a leash? You know what? Go ahead give him the walk he needs, I mean it will give your carpet the peace of mind it deserves.

Well, I'm sorry to say that I forgot to tell you to put your milkshake in the fridge. I mean I didn't think I had to dictate everything you did today. Oh wait, you did remember to pick up after your dog right? Man, your neighbors must really hate you. I suppose you should drink the shake anyways. It's a little melted, but it's still cold, and I'm sure it tastes exactly like a Coco Libre almond protein coconut water. Yes, I know that is the longest title for a beverage ever, but it tastes good, and so does your shake, so lay off.