Coco Libre Protein Coconut Water Vanilla

Ladies and Gentleman, I have an invention that will revolutionize the beverage world. I call it the De-Gritifyer. No longer will the world be plagued by protein drinks that have that weird sandy texture to them. With my invention it will be nothing but smooth sailing, and yes all puns intended.

Why no sir I am not living in the 90s. Why would you ask such a thing? Wait, what do you mean that there have been smooth protein drinks on the market for years. That simply cannot be true. Fine I will try your beverage even though I saw you drink directly from the carton and you clearly have a cold. You know that is disgusting, right? Damnit! This is smooth! However did they achieve this before I could? I've spent the last decade in a lab working on the perfect formula. What did they use? Coconut water, milk protein concentrate and acacia gum? I can't believe I didn't think of that. On top of everything it also tastes delicious. The vanilla is great and it overpowers the erythritol and stevia. This is far superior to every protein drink I ever tasted when I started my work.

This is devastating to me. I wasted ten years of my life to create a product that is inferior to this. It looks like I should just go back to my old job as a dog groomer. Do any of you have a pooch that needs tending?