Jumex - 7 Reviews

“Underachiever and proud of it,” was once the motto of a yellow, eight fingered juvenile delinquent from an unspecified location in America. It's also basically the slacker generation's war cry. “The previous generations screwed everything up for us, so we're not going to do anything to try and fix it. We're just going to have as much of a good time as we can.” While I endorse people having a good time, not trying is just a cop out.

I feel like Jumex has a little bit of Bart in them. This drink had such potential. Strawberry nectar sounds like a summers dream come true. I would want to bath in it and then drink my disgusting bath water post soak. Ick. Pretend I didn't say that. That will never actually be true. So yeah, this could have been the drink that would bring an end to war an famine. Jumex decided to say “Ehhh” and watered it down and added HFCS to unnecessarily sweeten it. There is a base of delicious strawberry puree in here, but the corn syrup makes it even thicker than it would normally be and gives it a weird tang. The water does what water does best and blands it out. Shame on you Jumex.

For the quantity of peaches that I have consumed in my life I am shocked that I have not had more of its less fuzzy cousin the apricot. Truth be told I think I may have consumed maybe three whole apricots during my time on this planet. I have eaten it by the ton in its dried form though. The reason for that is because my mom would always buy a bag from the bulk section for some reason. Dried apples or pineapples would have been my go-to, but she always chose the apricot.

This is 27% juice and all of it is apricot. A lot of companies cut their juice with apple fluid, but Jumex keeps it strong with pure apricot. Well, at least the 27% of it that is actually juice and not water or sweetener. Even thought 73% of what is contained in this can is not apricot based, it sure tastes like it is. If you're a fan of apricots and you don't mind juice that is mostly not juice then give this a shot.

Pineapples out of a can are fine. I'm not a "silver spoon" kind of kid. I have eaten all sorts of disgusting things to get by. Plus, they are actually just plain fine. Who has a problem besides, say, Hawaiians who have the ability to just eat them all day long? Buffalo? We get two months of edible pineapples. Oh, we can buy them more months out of the year than that but they taste like garbage. If I can eat consistently good pineapples that taste a little like the can they come in, I'll take it.

This drink tastes like pineapples out of a can with less of a sting. How did I get this far in the review without even mentioning papaya? Well it's simple. I didn't taste it. Anyone who ingests more papaya than I may have been able to find it somewhere in the mix of tin and pineapple, but I didn't get it. I didn't care that I didn't get it as I was totally fine with a fresh can of pineapple juice.

Jumex from Texas and not from Mexico where I thought you would be from, you're great.

I've never had guanabana before. I was expecting it to be very bitter, very bland, or like guava (solely because they start with the same first two letters). Reality has it that it tastes like none of the above. I think it tastes like a smooth fake strawberry with a little bit of passionfruit in the mix. My ladyfriend thinks it tastes like melon. She is wrong. Dead wrong. Maybe I'm, just being a jerk. It's pretty thick, but it is a nectar and does have corn syrup in it.

Guanabana is also known as soursop, I just discovered. I searched our page and Mike also thought that it tasted kind of like passionfruit. Looks like great (and stupid) minds think alike. Since I thought this was going to be something on the grosser side of the taste spectrum, it was a nice pleasant surprise.

It's been a long drive, but now you've reach your destination. 11 hours on the road is a long time. It seems even longer when it's been pouring rain for half of it. You get to the house, but no one is home. Luckily you have a key on your enormous janitor-esque key ring. You let yourself in plop down on the couch to just relax. You suddenly realize that you are starving. Problem is it's pouring out so you can't walk anywhere, and you got a bitchin' parking spot that you really don't want to give up. Looks like it's toast with peanut butter yet again. This time you decide to spice it up by sipping on a can of mango nectar during your meal. The food is as decent as you would expect. You went for the honey roasted peanut butter, and boy are and boy are you glad you did. The juice on the other hand, not so great and you wish you had chosen more wisely. It tastes like mangoes alright, but old ones that have begun to slightly spoil. It has that borderline smoky flavor to it that acidic things that are on the verge of going bad get. It's also more of a thinned out syrup than a nectar. What can you do though give up that parking spot? I think not. You'll suffer through that slightly less than mediocre juice, and you'll live another day to complain about it via the internet.

It's like there was a peach party arranged, but too many people showed up. As a result they had to cut the peach supply (you know like the do with cocaine in the moving pictures). Now there is enough for everyone, but what they get is a peachy beverage, but it doesn't get them as high in flavor town as the pure version would.

Am I alone in thinking that when things are described as being nectar that it means the drink will have a thicker consistency? Juice is thinner and watery, as if the juice has been squeezed from the fruit. Nectar is thicker, as if the fruit was pureed. That is the way my mind works. Jumex apparently does not agree with my train of thought. To me this is a juice, plain and simple. There is nothing wrong with that. I enjoy it quite a bit. It's a nice sugary guava treat. Can you really ever go wrong with guava? I certainly don't think so.