Lester's Fixins - 4 Reviews

Look folks, Mike and I are born and raised in Buffalo, NY. Even though I haven't eaten meat in 18 years wing sauce still runs through my veins. I've eaten my fair share of vegetarian chicken wings all across this country of ours, and yes they are chicken wings, not Buffalo wings, and I am highly critical of the sauce places use. There is a very specific recipe here in Buffalo and if it's not right it can ruin the wings for me. I was fully expecting to be disappointed in this, but not to this extent. This tastes nothing like chicken wing sauce at all. It just tastes like a citrus soda that has some spice to it. It's almost orange. It's almost grapefruit. It tastes like there is a healthy scoop of capsicum in there as well. If you took all that unappealing mixture and then watered it down you would have this soda.

I was afraid that maybe I was being too critical of it, so I had my friend Ruben try it and all he said was “I absolutely hate this” and then walked out of the room. The verdict is in, this is gross, and not appropriately flavored at all.

I walked into the beer merchant in my city knowing full well that they have a decent selection of non-alcoholic drinks. Someone mentioned to me previously that they had the Lester's Fixins chicken wing pop but they didn't tell me that they had a couple different ones there. I thought, you know what? I'm going to share this with my good friend Lauren and maybe some kids. I'll get something kid friendly and perhaps more interesting. Welp, I'm the fool because this was completely and utterly disgusting.

Travel back in time to when you were around four and your parents bought you a new cooking set with fake food in it. Remember when you could get plastic food that actually smelled vaguely like what it was supposed to be? Well be a four year old idiot and make and eat a plastic piece of jelly and you've got this drink. It tasted like melon flavored plastic, nothing like what it should have tasted like. No peanut butter, and not strawberry or grape jelly either. Oh you know that old American lunch staple of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with no peanut butter and melon jelly served in and around a plastic plate that you just eat the whole thing of like this is your first time eating a piece of Cinn-a-burst gum and you heard you can eat the wrapper, too. Exception being that Cinn-a-burst was fantastic gum and this pop sucked more than my fantastic Dyson vacuum and that thing truly never clogs. It just keeps sucking just like this crappy pop.

Two things:
Thing 1: The review:
When you get a salad in the rare time you get a salad, how stoked are you when you find those delicious treats, the candied walnuts or the candied pecans? Totally stoked? Completely stoked? Absolutely stoked? Probably? I love them. My girlfriend doesn't eat nuts of any shape but when candied, she rants and raves and I have to hear about how "Oh, I don't like nuts but I'll eat candied walnuts or pecans." Do you know how many times I've heard that spiel? Too many. Why do I bring salads into the mix when I talk about bacon pop? This drink tastes like candied Bacos (or bacon crumb alternative). Is that something you want? Probably not.

Thing 2: People's fascination with bacon:
We get it. Bacon is great. I've probably had more bad bacon than good in my day and I don't think I'm the only one. Calm down with the bacon. You're going to give yourself heart problems the way that you love bacon.

Bonus; A video:
We have captured our sentiments for this drink so you can judge for yourself whether or not you want to give this drink a go for yourself.

I've been holding onto this little gem for quite awhile now. Since it's something so unusual I wanted to drink it with a group of people, so that everyone could check it out. That never panned out so today seemed like as good a time as any (it's Thanksgiving).

Let me start off by stating that I ate way more of my fair share of corn today. I devoured the stuff, so I'm very familiar with the taste of corn. When I opened up the bottle, it smelled completely disgusting for 2 seconds. Then I took another sniff and it smelled exactly like a can of corn. I couldn't help but giggle. I love corn so much. I would put it into almost everything I cook if it was around. The Eden Corn Fest is one of the things my friends and I look forward to the most east year. An entire carnival type scenario based around corn harvest? Yes please!

Back to the pop. At first I thought this tastes like someone carbonated (and lightly sweetened) the juice left at the bottle of a can of corn, then I took another sip and I realized that no, that was not it. It tastes way more like actual corn than just the leftover corn water. It tastes so much like corn that it is kind of disturbing. I shouldn't want to add salt and pepper to my soda. As much as I love corn, I really couldn't make it more than a couple of sips into this drink. I still don't want to speak ill of it though. As it's a novelty soda and it does taste exactly like it promises to I will still give this a four-bottle review. I certainly wouldn't go out an order a case, but it is something that I think every fan of corn should try at least once.