Lotte - 5 Reviews

Here I am stuck out in the middle of nowhere. I decided to rent this cabin for a week because I ran across an ad that had a picture of the most wondrous looking cabin with flowers everywhere in the yard. Apparently that picture was taken in 1972 because this place is a dump. There are mice turds everywhere and the ceiling is caving in on one of the rooms. I guess I should have known better as it was only $100 for the week. Ugh. The ad boasted that you would have the cleanest mountain water to drink from the well on the property. I wanted to get back to nature, so I packed light…€¦I mean real light. I brought one change of clothes, a knife, a flashlight and some beans and rice to cook over a fire. The problem is that since this ad has been running since before I was a fetus, it didn't take into consideration that the well has run dry. Here I am in a dilapidated cabin…€¦okay, let's be fair this is a shack at best and I have no water and no means to cook the limited food that I brought.

I found a hatch in the floor of the shed that led to some sort of makeshift basement pantry. There were a bunch of canned fruits and vegetables down there. I thought I was saved, but upon opening them most were completely spoiled. The only thing that I could find to eat was a jar of mandarin oranges. Those lasted me all of two minutes. I have been nursing the syrupy juice that was keeping them fresh though. It's like drinking a mandarin orange juice, with a decent helping of sugar added to it. It's not that bad, and sometimes I get a little strand of orange in the juice. Finding this cellar and it's contents gave me a little hope, but I am now certain that I will die in these woods. If only I could survive I might try to market this juice. I would call it Sac Sac. Don't ask why, I am delirious in a state of hunger. What do you mean, “Why don't I just drive back to civilization?” I'll tell you why, I am in touch with the Earth and I'll be damned if I can't survive off of the land for a week. One measly week! Why am I talking to a jar of spoiled pickled eggs? More importantly why is it asking me questions. All hops is truly lost.

Seeing this say cider and be in an Asian grocery store made me need this. I also saw that it said "lemon lime" so I was already bummed out by it but I still had it in my hand and since we had not reviewed it, I had to continue with my original intentions to buy it.

This tastes like most lemon lime pops. I don't know why the call it anything cider and I don't know who or what Chilsung is, but their definition and our definition of a "cider" is nothing alike. Apples make a cider. Lemons and limes getting together to re-create what was done a thousand times is not a cider. This isn't bad, but you've had it if you've had any Sprite, 7-Up, Sierra Mist, and everything in-between.

Jay and I also got cantaloupe popsicles when we were there. Those were absolutely delicious and they made the trip unforgettable. I wish I was there again, eating one of those delicious popsicles. Oh, the memories. I'll buy that all of the darn day.

On a recent trip to Korea, you realize that in Asia, things are different. You had to travel all the way around the world to know that things on the other side of the world are different. You have eaten with chopsticks and all you can think of is that Jerry Seinfeld bit about using shovels and not using chopsticks. You haven't exactly mastered them but you're working on it and that's good enough for you. You have drank fish face juice, cow leg milk, and even chicken sauce which you thought was a drink but was actually a legitimate sauce for chicken and not made from chicken. That one was a mistake. You don't blame anyone but yourself for that blem.

You wander into yet another small shop on a nice Tuesday night and you come across this can. It's in English and at this point, you will drink anything you can read the ingredients for. You pay whatever the equivalent of one American dollar is in Korean currency and head out to walk the streets of the city, maybe pet a horse, maybe eat some meats of sticks, maybe both. You open the can, take a sip, and sigh in relief that there aren't any chunks or eyeballs or cow feet in it. You are later excited because you actually like it. It's a light black tea, sweetened with sugar. Just like mama back home would have made. No funny business in this can. All serious work. Suit and tie stuff. It's good and also has a little citrus taste to it. A nice twist.

For the first time in many moons you are quenched and can go to sleep not dreaming of something drinkable like you had back home. Tomorrow will be another day in Korea and you may or may not drink something gross. If you do, you now know what you can use to wash down your pig knee soup.

Call me old fashion, but I feel that once you start adding sweeteners and the like to your drink it should no longer be referred to as water. I mean aren't 99% of the drinks on the world water based? By that thinking then pop should be called water. This is water, sweetener and concentrated peach. As I see it this would be a juice. It definitely tastes like a watered down peach juice to me, well one that is overly sweetened. I also have no idea what "2%" has to do with this drink at all. It just makes me think of milk. On the bright side I really like the packaging. It is pleasant to look at.

It's rough being eight. I can't have everything I want. Sure, I don't get homework and my math is just adding and subtracting and I only get like four hours a day to play with friends. I have no responsibilities except to brush my teeth, which I only do when mom is watching. I also feed the dog the food I don't want for dinner under the table regardless of what my dad says. So DJ Biacco the chihuahua has gained fifteen pounds and my parents have no idea why. I don't care. I'm eight and don't completely understand consequences.

One thing that I want is pop, all the time. I love it and my dumb mom never lets me have it. I don't care if I lose teeth; they just keep growing back, right? That's why I don't brush them, as I have previously mentioned. So I love pop and want more of it, number one. Number two, more strawberry milk needs to be stocked in the house. I love it and once again, I can't have it all the time and that's just not fair.

You know what would be great? Strawberry milk pop. Man, if they ever made that then I would just lose my mind. Wait, what? They do? You've got to be kidding me. I have to get some. You have some? It's strange that you would have this on you. If I didn't know better, you would be trying to get me in your van. I don't think you have any. You do have it! I will get in the van because I see that you have video games and pizza in there, but just to eat one slice and try this Milkis.

Ahh! How did no one tell me about...yeah you can close the door. How did no one tell me about this before? It tastes like carbonated strawberry milk. This is the best drink I have ever had.

Where are we going? Oh, we're here? Oh, there's my house. Thanks for taking me home, although it was strange that you did that since I only live two blocks from where we were. Thanks anyhow and thanks for this Milkis.