Mix 1 - 5 Reviews

Somewhere in some universe teenager me is watching modern day me and shaking his head. He's thinking what has my life come to that not only am I drinking nutritional shakes that are high in protein, but that I am doing so with it's intended purpose in mind. The idea of working out at a gym is laughable to the kid who talked his phys ed teacher into letting kids play hacky sack instead of working out. He's a kid who believed that all the exercise one needed in life could be had by skateboarding and wandering around in the woods with your friends. It is also the same kid who thought he could subside forever on tacos, Pop Tarts and Quaker granola bars.

Here are some words of wisdom for me of two decades past; when you get older life gets in the way, and you won't be in the woods nearly as much as you used to, or want to, and when there's no one else to skate with anymore, and you realize that you can in fact hurt yourself, you only get on a board a couple times a year. As far as the food goes, keep eating those tacos, but Pop Tarts are just gross and you know it. The only reason you eat them is because your mom keeps buying them. As for the granola bars, you'll upgrade to higher quality ones and still eat them on the regular. The point of all of this is that when you're in your mid thirties things will start to catch up with your body, and you'll realize that you're not a scrawny little kid anymore, and you really need to get some exercise, which also actually makes you feel good and helps with that stupid depression that lingered around for most of your life because of the dumb music you listened to. Okay, you'll still be listening to that same dumb music, and loving it just as much, but the physical activity helps counteract it, so you're not up until dawn every night doing absolutely nothing, and rarely seeing the sun.

Oh and while you're exercising to help make life more bearable (while listening to songs written in a minor key like a maniac) you might as well help your body recover by drinking some of these shakes. They do help, and nowadays they don't all taste like dust. This actually just tastes like something between a nice smoothie and a melting milkshake. You probably have no idea what pomegranate and acai are since it's the early/mid 90's where you are and they haven't invaded every facet of eating yet, but trust me…€¦you enjoy them. Well, maybe not acai too much, but when it's mixed with other stuff it's not bad at all. This doesn't taste overly like a protein drink at all, and it's nice that companies such as Mix 1 are expanding their lines into things other than chocolate, vanilla and strawberry banana. It's mellow. It's fruity. It's enjoyable.

Oh, and teenage self. Why don't you spend some of that time that you are awake all night and actually pick up that bass that's next to your bed? I know you think you're good, but I can tell you twenty years later you really should be much better than you are. As it is now, you're just faking your way through it, but hey at least we're still making music.

Sometimes your at a time and place in your life where your nutrition needs to come from a shake/liquid. Perhaps you work out a lot and need to replenish what you lost whilst getting ripped. Perhaps things were a bit more sinister and some creep punched you out of nowhere because he thought you were eyeing his lady friend when in face you were trying to watch The Simpsons in closed caption on the television that hung behind her at the bar. Perhaps you are just an idiot and thought, “Hey I saw them try to jump the Springfield Gorge on that episode of the Simpsons I watched at the bar last night in closed caption, I'm going to try to do the same at my local gorge, except I'm going to actually make it.” Of course you didn't make it. You haven't set foot on a skateboard since you were twelve and now you're paunchy and 34, so you no longer have teeth to eat solid foods.

Whatever your reason, If you're into the taste of blueberries and vanilla and the consistency of slightly liquidy yogurt, this drink may be for you. To be honest, I could use a whole lot more vanilla in here. Had they used the same vanilla that is in their straight up vanilla shake and just added some blueberries to this is would be pretty magical. Instead it has a general yogurtness to it, that I kind of disliked at first, but didn't mid after a couple of sips. The blueberry taste is right where I want it to be though, so that is also good. Overall this isn't bad, but it could have easily been made great as I mentioned above.

I have one simple request for the humans who populate this planet: Can we please just give up on bananas? Leave them to the chimps. We evolved from them; so let's get away from their favorite food as well. I know people are going to think it's a phallic thing, or that I have a problem with the texture, but those people are wrong. I'll eat cucumbers like a hand fruit all day long, and I have no problem with mushy foods. The way I incompetently make oatmeal makes it about the same consistency as them. The sad truth that people just need to accept is that bananas just taste disgusting. I don't get even a millisecond of enjoyment out of them. They even smell gross, like they are always in a state of decomposition. I know the potassium they provide is essential, but let's be honest science has progressed enough that we can get that vitamin in pill form without the grozz taste.

Mix 1 has joined the bastard fruit with a delicious one as is common in our culture. Strawberries are delicious, so of course people will use them to try and disguise the grossness of the banana, it's just too bad it never works and the precious strawberries are just wasted. This drink really has two strikes against it before I even tried it. Number one: it's a protein drink, which generally don't fare to well for the palate. I've already spent too much time on issue number two.

Upon trying this it was confirmed that I am not a fan. There is a decent strawberry flavor, and it has a nice sweetness. If it were just that then I think this would have been a pretty good protein shake, but that banana, that damn banana ruins it all. If you are a savage who has no taste buds and eat this green to yellow to brown fruit you just might enjoy this. Me, I'll be avoiding it.

I like good chocolate milk. Who doesn't? It's chocolate milk. It's kid stuff that just follows you through the years that wonderfully never leaves. You reach adulthood and then you realize there is a world of different products out there including the beloved chocolate milk. Some of them are good and some of them are bad and some of them are the same products that have been out for twenty years that are just fine as they are. This falls into the "bad" category. It's a "natural chocolate shake" but it is more like a protein drink that tastes like a diet protein drink because it's filled with an array of different sweeteners that just makes it feel like chalk and low grade chocolate. What else is there to say? No thanks. If you're on a diet and can't find any other chocolate milk, fine, go with it, but if you can find even a local gas station chocolate milk, steer towards that. Just don't do it with your car. Buffalo is becoming synonymous with people driving through stores and restaurants.

Welcome to your friendly neighborhood ice cream shoppe. How may I help you? Let me see if I got this right. You want me to make a bowl of our delicious French vanilla ice cream and then let it sit out in the sun until it has completely melted? Then you want me to take that bowl, pour it into a glass and put it in the fridge to cool it down, but not so that it re-congeals into solid iced cream again? Sir, I don't know why you would want that, but my manager always tells me the customer is always right, so I'll get right on that. It will probably take about two hours though, is that okay? Alright then, I'll see you again in two hours.

Welcome back sir. I have to admit I was intrigued by your request, so I made one for myself as well. It's okay I guess, but nothing I would really care for again. Oh, you were doing an experiment because you drank a mix 1 vanilla nutritional shake and you thought this is exactly what it tasted like? That's one weird shake you drank sir. Oh the results weren't exactly that you expected, and the Mix 1 drink wasn't nearly as thick and it had a stronger French vanilla flavor? But other than that, it was pretty similar? Well sir I have to say that if that is what your nutritional shake tasted like it certainly must have been better than most. Congratulations Now, can I have the $1.89 you owe me for the iced cream?