Owater - 2 Reviews

When climbing to the peak of some mountain or another there is only one clear choice for hydration and that is Owater. Wait what do you mean that the contents of this bottle would freeze in those temperatures? No one is looking to get their electrolytes and antioxidants from popsicles, while they may be tasty, they wouldn't be refreshing at all, and that is what we want at high altitudes and low temperatures. I suppose one could pour the contents of a bottle of Owater into a container that would keep it from freezing, but then how would that work for promotions? No one would recognize the bottles in the ads. They would just see some guy on a mountain drinking from a canteen. I guess we could slap a sticker onto it, but that doesn't help people recognize the product in the stores. Maybe we should just start packaging it in canteens.

We have a decent product here people. It has a taste that mixes the electrolyte flavor of Gatorade and the actual flavor of Vitamin Water. It really sits right in the middle of those two brands and I truly think there is a big market for it. I mean we use real blueberry flavor, so that puts us ahead of the competition. We just need to think of a better way to promote it. This whole ice mountain climber shtick really isn't going to work out. What do we want our products to end up in a Big Lots or some such store? Of course not, but that is exactly where we're going to end up if we keep with this ad campaign…€¦.ooops.

Somewhere in a dark dungeon of a laboratory a scientist, possibly a mad one, is wringing his hands together in celebration of his victory. In the light of one of those things that is just two poles that shoot electric waves between them he is one happy little monkey. What are those things called anyway, and why does every evil scientist have them in their lab? Are they a way of turning evil into electricity? These are questions the public has, and which we demand answers! Back to our scientist: He is so pleased with himself because he has created an unholy abomination of water and antioxidants, and to top that he has added flavor to it. Somewhere deep in the pages of the bible god proclaimed that man would not mix water with those who fought against the mighty oxidants, but that did not stop our evil friend. He will certainly go to hell for these acts, but he has created water that will fight free radicals that tastes like a nice peach-mango combination, and that is certainly worth eternal damnation. Even if he does have to “face his maker” his plan is to claim that in reality it is no longer water because it's so sweetened and flavored, albeit lightly. You see he simply made an antioxidant ridden drink. That would fool god right?