R.W. Knudsen - 15 Reviews

For camping in this chilly autumn weather I really wanted a bottle of Reed's Spiced Apple Brew to sip while I sat at a fire. There is something wonderful about sipping some spiced sparkling apple juice while fire consumes everything it touches in a controlled setting while chatting with some good friends. At the store I discovered that they no longer seemed to stock that particular product (I am more than slightly concerned that it has been discontinued and I need to do some research). While I didn't find what I was looking for I did find this bottle which appeared to be similar, but with pumpkin added to the mix.

So I sat at my campsite and threw a rouge pumpkin I found on the fire and cracked this bottle open. As the fire distorted the face carved into the gourd I sipped on a glass of this sweet treat. It turns out it is very similar to what is one of my favorite drinks that I was bummed I couldn't find. The pumpkin isn't too overpowering and I'd have to say that it is mostly a sparkling apple drink. It is fairly sweet tasting. I could only drink a smallish glass (which is what a human should drink, we don't need to be the gluttons we tend to be). It was very enjoyable for that glass, but I can't imagine drinking more than that in a sitting (or even over an extended period of time). It's good that it's a seasonal product. I hope to enjoy it again next year.

The McCulley family had taken thief life savings and used it to purchase a farm. They were sick of working for “The Man,” and since they were getting older they decided it was time to do something for themselves. The previous owners had planted a huge orchard a couple of years ago and this was to be the first year the trees were to yield a useable fruit. They had such plans for all of the apples they would be harvesting in the Fall. The amount of juice and cider they were going to produce would be mind blowing.

Finally the seasons began to change and the fruit started appearing on the trees. The problem was that these trees weren't apple trees like they had expected. They were pear trees. Mr. McCulley was furious, but there was nothing he could do. You see he had never asked the realtor or the previous owner what kind of trees they were. He had just assumed they were apple trees because that's what he had in is mind, and he thought that assumption was going to end up being his downfall. What was he to do with so many pears? No one wanted pear juice, and there was only so much pear jam you could push in the market.

He had accepted that he had ruined his family's financial well-being. He was standing out in the orchard fighting back the tears, trying to decide how to tell his family that they were ruined when his wife walked up. Very quietly she just said, “Pears, huh? Looks like we're going to be making a bunch of sparkling juice.” How could he be so blind? Adding carbonation to any juice instantly gave it a slightly different flavor that was appealing to a great deal of people.

Once the harvest was ready they made up their first batch of sparkling pear juice. All they did was juice all of the pears and add sparkling filtered water to it, and they were good to go. Mr. McCulley gave it a sip and was pleased. It certainly tasted like pears, but it wasn't very overpowering like pears can be. It was very sweet, even though he had added no sugar to it. He hesitated to say it, but after a few more sips, he was sure that it was actually really good, great even. His family was saved! He sold off his batch to the R.W. Knudsen company and used the profits to invest in the stock market. There was no way that could be a bad investment for his family.

What a pile of garbage. Jay is going to be so disappointed, poor little guy. Back on May 21st of this year, I found on the internets that R.W. made a hibiscus cooler. We love hibiscus. It is a miracle ingredient. It makes everything better somehow. I've bought cases of a hibiscus tea I like because it was so exceptional.

This...there isn't much to be said about it. It tastes like a cranberry juice watered down with apple juice. Hello? Hibiscus? Are you even in there? I get it just at the end, that little bit of spicy, flower, but when I say "spicy" do not expect anything. It could be the orange talking. There is also orange in there but it might only be the aftertaste. So disappointing.

Jay, I know you've got a bottle of this at your house. Please don't get too sad about it. I'll talk you out of your inevitable depression.

Wait, I thought that Fandango was that service where you could order movie tickets? Oh, it is. I'm not crazy. When I asked you to bring up Fandango, I meant for you to bring it up on the computer, not bring me a glass of sparkling juice. Yes, I know we have plans tonight to go to your niece's stupid recital. Oh good we get to go listen to four year olds pretend they know how to sing and play instruments. I just wanted to try and pre-order tickets for Batman. Yes, I know that it doesn't come out until mid June, but I want to make sure that I get tickets for the midnight showing. I mean it's Batman, he's the greatest “super hero” of all time and he's fighting Bane. Have you even watched the preview yet? I told you to about a million times. Obviously you haven't though, or you wouldn't be questioning me.

Okay, you've gotten me sidetracked. Back to the question at hand: What is this drink? Oh, it's a spritzer that is names “mango fandango.” I guess that makes sense that you brought me it. I mean it's not bringing me any closer to seeing Batman, but it is tasty. I appreciate that there are no added sweeteners, just the glory of fruit. It seems like a lot of companies use apple juice as a base for everything, and I understand that. Pure mango juice would be way more expensive. Luckily the addition of mango and passionfruit juice to the apple juice gives it a great flavor that stands out. It tastes tropical in a completely non-citrus way. I like citrus, it's helped me out many times in my life, but I would choose this type of tropical any day. This is actually very sweet for not having sugar added to it. We should bring a case of it to the after recital party tonight. Those youngsters these days eat/drink way too much garbage and they all seem to be getting overweight. If we turned them on to this instead of regular soda they will thank us in twenty years. Oh man in twenty years I bet there will be at least 3 new Batman franchises. I can't wait.

If I were stuck in a forest, I would forage for berries. I was never a Boy Scout, although I enjoy their fundraising chocolate, caramel popcorn. I don't know what's poisonous and what is not. I would probably be dead in four days if I was stuck out in a forest. I like to think about it, though. I would eventually have to kill something to make a sweet but necessary jacket/sleeping blanket to keep warm. I wouldn't want to do it, and I have never killed anything before and don't ever want to but it's a necessary and I'm cold.

I think that I would know what raspberries look like enough that I could sustain off those. I haven't seen enough episodes of Man versus Wild enough to really learn the intricacies of "bug eating," so once I get to that protein-deprived state I'm probably eat any bug. Wrong, but I'll eat it.

I would eventually get very grizzled and start hallucinating. I'm grizzled now, but I would get worse. I think when you are in the forest, you grow beards faster and due to the immense amount of thorns and stuff, you rip your clothes very quickly. If I would somehow find a bottle of carbonated water, I could make this drink. I would find a nice, round stone, another round stone, and squish the berries on a leaf or something and pour the juice into the carbonated water. It would be a little bitter because it's natural but everything is natural in the forest, you dunce. That's all it would take to refresh myself. Seriously, though, the odds of me finding an unscathed bottle of anything, let alone carbonated water or something useful, is pretty slim. My luck I would find something like crab juice in a can and with that it would almost be essential to put raspberry juice in it to mask the, you know, crabbiness of it.

I didn't want to review this. I just wanted something to drink. I figured, hey, I've got like eight of these things, so I can casually drink it. Oh, no. I now don't know what I'm going to do with the other approximately seven packs because this is vile. I was not at all expecting what was going to happen when I drank it. No, it's not like I got hair on my palms or anything like that. It just made me make a face every time I drank it. I thought, "Hey, tropical. Rad." and now it's like a 60/40 vegetable/fruit combo kit that is 100% undesirable. It's like someone is feeding me a pineapple, except they bored out the core and crammed a giant carrot in it and are forcing me to eat this bastard food.

Roger Waters Knudsen, or whatever R.W. stands for, this is not for me. Is that why I found it at a Big Lots? Probably. Good luck getting rid of them. I hope your customers don't read this before they buy it. I don't want to knock anyone out of business, but this is just plain terrible. Wish me luck on the grape because I bought that, too. I'm a supporter with a strange taste in my mouth.

Jason was ecstatic. It was nearly February and he had yet to get sick this winter. For years the cold weather was basically a death sentence for any sort of social life. Every year like clockwork the cold and dry weather would creep into his world and he would never want to leave his house. For some unknown reason lesions used to form all over the inside of his throat. The doctors had no idea what was wrong with him. It was misdiagnosed as mono and tonsillitis. They would prescribe him antibiotics and in a week or so the lesions were gone. The thing is they would return again before the end of winter. Not having health insurance sure put a hinder on his recovery and wallet. Then one doctor recommended sleeping with a humidifier on. Three years passed with only one throat outbreak, but a normal sickness was ever present. He learned to deal with it and tried his best to live a normal life. This year was different though. He hadn't felt sick at all. He was so happy that he announced it one day with pride. As always when someone does something stupid like announce their health to a room of people, Jason woke up the next morning with a strange feeling in his throat/head. It wasn't a full-blown cold but something was definitely brewing.

Jason went to the store to purchase some juice to make sure his sickness didn't progress. Orange juice with extra pulp was always a standby, but to keep his streak going strong Jason was going to need something stronger. He went to the “fancy” juice aisle, where bottles cost upwards of $10. Perusing the shelves it was a no-brainer as soon as he saw this. It felt like he had found the Holy Grail of health. With a combination of ginger and Echinacea it was virtually unstoppable in the war against winter sickness. The base of this juice is basically honey-sweetened lemonade. Added to that is a vague Echinacea flavor. There is only a hint of it present. It is all rounded out with a nice ginger burn. It's not overpowering like some ginger beers, but it's there enough to let you know that it is prepared to go to war with any virus' in your system. Over the day Jason downed the entire bottle and by the next morning he felt perfectly fine. Jason :1. Sickness: 0.

Ronald Washington Knudsen was a soda fiend, or so the tale goes. The boy drank soda until his teeth began to rot. They literally fell right out of his head. Just turned black, full of holes and plop there they are sitting delicately on his tongue (just typing that makes me want to throw up). With all of his natural teeth rotted away the dentist/barber of the times gave him some dentures. They were made of wood though and if Ronald drank anything too sugary they would simply begin to dissolve. As a result he started carbonating some straight up fruit juice so that he could still drink bubbly beverages. He had some up and some downs with his experiments. One thing that cannot be disputed is that he struck gold with his sparkling apple cider. He took a wholesome down home Western New York style cider and simply added carbonation. It was a little strong and he feared for his wooden teeth so he added just a touch of water to even it out. The result was perfection in liquid form. Folks around his area were known to drink whole bottles at a time, even though he claimed each bottle was three servings. There were happy taste buds, happy stomachs, happy drinkers and most importantly happy teeth. It was a Christmas miracle.

I wasn't aware of it, but apparently the morning is the most tropical time of day. It's all citrus, sunshine and wild boars. One should embrace the tropical morning with both hands because before you know it time has passed and you are then stuck in the arctic evening with nothing but whale blubber and raw fish. So celebrate the morning while you have it. Wake up early to get the most of the sun and compliment your morning ritual of fake Cinnamon Toast Crunch with some healthy juice. You see juice was made for the morning. Avoid the garbage that has tons of sugar and artificial junk added and go for the all-natural 100% juice. It's also best to keep your morning juice tropical. R.W. Knudsen had their scientists work up the perfect blend to make the most of the morning. It's a mixture of pineapple, papaya, orange, peach and apple juice. It tastes great and makes you feel good about yourself. Even though it is full of citrus fruits the mixture does something too it that takes away the acidic harshness. This makes me want to eat a second breakfast, just to properly have a second glass.

Sparkling Water and grape/orange/passion-fruit juices are the only ingredients in this drink. It's the way things should be sometimes. Although this tastes more like a tropical punch than the individual flavors that compose it, it still tastes completely natural. It's very obvious from the first sip that there is nothing fancy or chemically added to this for any reason. It's made for those that enjoy sodas, but for health reasons they don't drink them. I want fountains of the different flavors of this line flowing in my house at all times.

I can't even begin to tell you how refreshing it can be to come across a good carbonated beverage that doesn't have any sugar added to it. We drink a lot of beverages here at Thirsty Dudes, and most of them are full to the brim with sugar. Most of the time it's not a problem, but sometimes it just gets to be too much (I do brush my teeth all the time for fear of them falling out of my head). These are the times I love to visit my friends the unsweetened teas and spritzers such as this.

Fruit is sweet. That is one of the reasons it is so good. You normally don't need to add sugar to it. The R. W. Knudsen family knows all about that. Nothing that I've ever had by them has any sugar added. I may not have been a huge fan of their Sparkling Essence line, but their Spritzer's have been great. This is just sparkling water added to fruit juice. Boysenberries are a hybrid of raspberries and blackberries, and it's definitely shown in it's taste. Mix in a little grape and you have a refreshing drink that I think everyone would enjoy.

If the soda industry took note and followed this process there would be a lot less overweight people in this country. Well if the soda companies also found a way to make American's less lazy too.

This is juice #2 for the day in the war against sickness. This time I went for something that was 100% juice. If I'm going to do this I should do it right. Well if I was going to do it right, I should be pounding some pomegranate and acai juices. I don't have any of that in my fridge at the moment, so I have to make due with this delicious juice. Kiwis and strawberries are two of my favorite fruits. They have been paired together hundreds of times in the past. Unfortunately, the companies who have paired them have diluted the flavor with so much sugar that they just end up tasting like liquid sweetness. I have it on good authority that the pope is in talks to declare that a mortal sin. Yes, you heard it hear first, you will go to hell if you ruin the flavor of delicious fruits with too much sugar. R.W. Knudsen apparently also caught word of this papal act, because they have kept their fruit juices natural and sugar free. I think I'm feeling better already.

After my disappointment with the cucumber Sparkling Essence, I was skeptical to try another flavor. Today I gave in and tried the blueberry. It had the same strong seltzer water flavor that I just can't get into. It does smell and taste exactly like blueberries. I just wish they would carbonate it differently. I did have a friend who likes seltzer have the rest of my can, and they loved it. So if seltzer is "on your list of the best things in life," this very well may be the sparkling beverage for you.

This looked so enticing sitting on the shelf. I had never even thought of it before, but a cucumber spritzer just sounds so refreshing. Unfortunately the carbonation in the drink tastes exactly like seltzer water, which I greatly dislike. I will say that underneath the bitter seltzer taste, it does taste exactly like cucumbers. Hopefully in the future a different cucumber spritzer will hit the market that I can enjoy.

I've really been getting into spritzers lately. It's such a nice light alternative to your average pop. When I was in the local co-op earlier this caught my eye, as I've also been really into ginger as well. I was really hoping for a stronger presence of ginger from this drink, but it was pretty mellow. It did have a slight hint of the burn, but it wasn't very strong. If you want a mellower ginger ale this is the way to go, if you're looking for something stronger, I would stick to ginger brew.