Robinson's - 4 Reviews

Why is orange drink necessary in this day and age? I mean Tang was important because it went to space, but normal people aren't traveling past the stratosphere. It's not like orange juice is expensive by any stretch of the imagination. Sure the cheaper stuff is made from concentrate and has added sugar at times, but it doesn't have as much sugar as any orange drink, nor is it as concentrated.

I would much rather have preferred a little bottle of the cheapest orange juice in the world to this. There is only 10% juice in here, and I feel like 20% of what's left is sugar. It's sugar water with a slight orange flavor to it. The flavor is actually more tangerine than orange too, but in a fake sort of way.

I can't even make it through ¼ of this bottle without getting annoyed that someone would purchase this over real juice. There wouldn't even be a price difference, unless you went for a higher caliber of juice.

Can we all agree that Christopher McDonald is one of the greatest character actors of our time? On top of being a great actor, he also has come of the best character names in cinematic history. From Reed Standish to Travis Cole, he has perfect antagonist names. Of course who could forget Shooter McGavin? I could only think about him as I drank this. A man who takes breaks from the golf course to sell his line of misleading juice drinks. Misleading you say? Well the bottle clearly states “No Added Sugar,” yet the ingredients clearly show that it actually contains sucralose. I guess technically sucralose is not sugar, but it still is a sweetener, albeit a zero calorie one.

I'll tell you what, if they weren't a bunch of big fat liars and had omitted the sucralose, this would be a nice little drinks. Sure it has a bunch of added nonsense, but the base of it is a decent tasting juice. Raspberry juice is rare, although I would kill for a nice cold glass of pure raspberry juice to accompany my dream glass of cantaloupe juice. Mixed with the strawberry juice it's nice, and I think kids (who this is marketed toward) would really enjoy this. The reality is there is only 10% juice in here, but I could easily over look that if that pesky sucralose wasn't present. It may not be strong in the taste, but it's still there and annoying.

Oh look, a lantern. It would be awesome if this was a...woah, it is a magic lantern. What's up, genie? Herb? Your name is Herb? Cool. I thought it would be something more, I don't know, majestic, but Herb is fine. Oh, oh, really? I get three wishes? This is awesome. I wish it were brighter in here so I could get around. I don't know how I got to this section of the castle. I was just checking my text messages and emails and walking aimlessly and ended up here. Oh...what the...that was a wish? I guess I did say, "I wish it was brighter." That one is on me, herb.

You know what? I'm thirsty. Could I have something to drink? No, what kind of a genie, oh, I get it. "I wish I could get something to drink. Woah. Do you have unlimited glitter? That's pretty cool. You'd be a hit in an art school. People would lay down some lines of glue and then all the kids would say, "I wish we had glitter!" and you would do your magic and art would happen.

Oh, you know what? I don't drink alcohol. Could I swap this with a non-alcoholic drink? What? I have to wish it? I have to say, "I wish this was non-alcoholic" for you to do it. That's...no...wait...come on! I just blew three wishes on light and one drink that I didn't want and one that I did want? This better be one heck of a drink, Herb. Ugh, what is this? You just took the alcohol out and left whatever else was in there? This is really bad. It's got a split second of candy sour apple and then it's just overwhelmingly terrible almost alcoholic tasting. It's kind of bitter like they might have used bad apples. Herb. Did you poison me? You didn't? Man, I wish you did. Wait...no!!!! Oh, I wasted my wishes. Now I'm kind of glad I wasted those because I would have just killed myself. Suicide by genie. That would be something. Thanks, Herb. Can you tell me how to get out of this castle? No? Alright, Herb. Thanks, I guess.

I would love to go to the UK but the more I do this site, the more fearful of blackcurrant I am. I mean, really. Have the people in Europe had grapes. Italy is right there. They had to have had grapes before. I think that grapes are a meal in between breakfast and brunch for Italians in Italy. Blackcurrant is like your friend's brother that is going through that "smelly" phase of fifteen where he doesn't know when or how to use deodorant. They look a lot alike and have a lot of the same mannerisms but one stinks.

This isn't bad and if I had to assign a demographic that would like this, it would be young British kids because I don't think that American kids could handle the bitterness. It does taste like blackcurrant and if you don't know what that is, think of a concord grape with a bit of tang to it. This is a pretty good representation of that but I'm not really on board with it yet. Perhaps if I ever go there I will be so surrounded by blackcurrant, that I will just have no choice but to suck it up and eat/drink/bake/cook/wear it all the time.