Simply - 4 Reviews

I dare you…€¦I double dog dare you…€¦I triple dog dare you to find me a better orange juice that is not made fresh in front of you. This is just orange juice and mango puree mixed together and poured into a bottle. It's all juice, and it's not cheap juice either. It's nothing if not high quality. Orange juice is great, but mango juice is better, so what better way to improve your orange juice than to mix in some of that great mango juice? There really is no other way to improve it that I know of. Mango and orange blend together so well.

I noticed that you didn't take me up on my dare. You're a baby. That's right a weak little baby. Don't you know the rules? You can't back down from a triple dog dare. Now get out there and try to find me a better orange juice!

All of us here at Thirsty Dudes are huge fans of The Best Show on WFMU. It is a radio show based out of NJ, but available world wide, so don't call it local! The host of the show is the wonderful Tom Scharpling. He entertains the world via radio for three hours every Tuesday night. It is one of the funniest things I've ever listened to. Guests like Paul F Tompkins, Ted Leo, Patton Oswalt, Todd Barry and many others a frequent. If you are a fan of hilarity I suggest you check it out.

Okay now that the plug is over, on with the story. Last week I finally worked up the courage to call into the show to talk to Tom about Thirsty Dudes. The mush state of my mouth was discussed and then when asked for suggestions on things to review Tom told me orange juice. Who am I to argue? So here's your orange juice review.

Simply puts out nothing but high quality beverages as far as I've tasted. It so happens that all three of us purchased and reviewed a Simply drink in the past two days. All of them got high marks. They don't mess around with adding extra ingredients to their juices. They know with something like this it's best to keep things.....simple. I have to say this is the best orange juice (minus some the was fresh squeezed) that I have ever had. It doesn't taste old or weird like a lot of carton orange juices do. There is a decent amount of pulp in it, which is a bonus in my world. I don't care what my friend Kevyn says. Pulp does not make a drink seem like you're imbibing dirty dishwater. It makes it seem like your eating the actual fruit, minus the annoying peeling session. How does everyone else start to peel and orange? I always bite the skin a little, but then I get a spray of the gross bitter peel in my mouth. It almost makes it not worth it. Give me advice people!

You know how sometimes you have a bit of a scratchy throat? You just find yourself clearing it all the time for no reason and you think that it's annoying but really, people don't care. They understand. It happens to the best of us. It just happens and we deal with it. It's life.

Suggestion. Do not drink Simply Lemonade (with raspberry) when you are suffering from these life-threatening conditions. It tastes like you're drinking sandpaper. Great tasting sandpaper, but sandpaper nonetheless.

All other times of the year, please, by all means, treat yourself to this beverage. It's pretty sweet and the lemonade cuts right through. I, personally, couldn't tell "raspberry" was in it. I knew that it wasn't straight lemonade, and I appreciated that he had a tag team partner, but the sweetness and acidity from the lemonade really covered up the other flavors. There is pulp in it, which is also the sign of an impending good drink. Either that or a poor strainer at the factory it's made at. I trust that it was on purpose.

All the same, I would drink this again because it was very good. It's a lot more sharp than the Calypso lemonade, which I find smoother compared to this, but it's a different sort of lemonade and I liked it. It's summertime, though, and I think that most lemonade is pretty exceptional.

How much juice comes from a single apple? A thimble full? Perhaps enough to fill a shot glass? It always bottles my mind when I think of the quantity of fruit that is needed to produce a single bottle for our drinking pleasures.
I assume giant machines are used to juice apples now. They probably throw them into some vat by the bushel and a big machine smashes them all up and the cores, seeds and pulp are filtered out. What did they do in the olden times? I'd like to think that they juiced apples like they do grapes for wine. Some old ladies peeled a whole mess of apples and put them in a large wooden bucked the size of a shed. Then they climbed in and did a little dance on them with their dirty fungal infected feet. The lower side of said bucket had a little spout that the townspeople could open to get a glass of fresh juice for only a nickel. They were simpler times. This company knows that and that's why the machine they use to mash their apples up is shaped like a gigantic diseased foot. As a result of their efforts they produce some of the best apple juice I have ever consumed. All that is in this bottle is apple juice. No extra water, sweeteners or preservatives. Just like the hill people intended.